Mafia Preschool
by MyHobbyIsToRunFromReality
Summary: Tsuna, Hayato, Takeshi, Kyoya, Mukuro, Chrome, Ryohei, Dino, Enma, Shimon Guardians and all other young Mafioso. Welcome to the hell on Earth that is Mafia Preschool. Please don't drip your blood on the floor. No, Primo, you cannot pull your son out.
1. Intro

*I don't own KHR. If I did, Gokudera would've won the Ring match, Yuni and Gamma would've lived, Enma would be in the anime, and the anime WOULDN'T BE ON FRICKIN' HIATUS!

Summary: Primo looked over to his son with a sort of sadness as he released his hand and Tsuna gave a reassuring smile. G stood by his boss and gave Hayato a sort of warning look that said not to mess this up. Hayato merely looked at him with a defiant look and nodded. This was the day that the two of them were starting Mafia Preschool.

Mafia Preschool: Intro

"HAYATO, YOU BRAT, GET BACK HERE AND GIVE ME THOSE BACK!" G yelled out through the mansion. Usually, G would be calm and mellow, but not this time. Oh hell no.

Because somehow, his little, five-year-old, silver-haired adopted son snuck into the weapons hatch and stole half of the dynamite supply.

This would not end nicely.

"No way old man," The young boy yelled out while laughing cheekily. G ran through the open window towards the great hall where Hayato was running towards and managed cut off his little demon-son who was staring at him.

G stared in wonder at his son. The kid took half of the dynamite supply, which meant about 500 sticks of explosive shit. So where in hell was he carrying it? He just stood there with a demonic little smirk on his face, with not a single stick in his hands or bulging out of his pockets.

"Hayato," G said with an eerie calmness "where's the dynamite?"

"What dynamite, '_Kaa-san_?" Hayato said teasingly.

A vein pulsed on G's forehead.

"I'm talking about the dynamite that you took out of the weapons hatch. The ones that you've been running with this entire time…" G said with his left eye twitching incessantly.

Hayato just gave a shrug. "I dunno."

Oh, the little prick was _dead_.

"Hayato…"

"Hai, '_Kaa-san_?" Hayato asked 'oh so innocently'.

"**COME HERE!" **G yelled out, jumping for Hayato.

G found out at that moment that Hayato had hidden the dynamite under his clothes. How the brat managed to do so without any distortion, take them out in half a second, and light them without a lighter was beyond him.

Hayato somehow managed to take out the entire west side of the mansion in exactly 1.8 seconds, which landed him a spot in the Vongola Great Hall of Fame for Most Destruction to the Vongola Mansion while Under the Age of Ten.

**{Tsu 27 Goku 59 Yama 80 Hiba 18 Muku 69 Chro 96}**

Giotto visited G later that morning in the east infirmary.

"Hey G. I heard that Hayato has a knack with dynamites, huh?" Giotto asked teasingly while leaning against the doorframe.

"Shut up," G muttered, while glaring at the ceiling. Part of him wished that his other kid, Bianchi didn't go to that prestigious All-Girls Mafia Preparation School; at least she didn't blow up dynamite in his face. But at least now she couldn't terrorize everybody with her poison cooking.

Giotto continued. "G, I've been thinking, Tsuna and Hayato are old enough to start preschool…"

G shot up from the bed, injuries be damned.

"Are you insane! They are part of the Vongola Famiglia! They could get kidnapped or held for ransom or-"

"Don't worry G; Asari says that as soon as he lands in Italy after his flight delay is over, he'll enroll his own son. Knuckle's adopted kids are eager to go too, so he's going to start them off together with them. Hell, even Daemon and Alaude are sending their kids in for preschool soon, and I think the Simon Famiglia are enrolling too. Not only that, but Hayato has dynamite and Tsuna has his gloves and HDWM. And if that's not enough, it's _**that**_ preschool."

G stared hard at his boss.

"You mean _that_ preschool?"

"Yeah,"

"But isn't that where-"

"Yeah,"

"Won't there be-"

"Unfortunately,"

"Are you sure he'll-"

"Already called him,"

G stared harder.

"Fine; maybe with that Spartan-like preschool, Hayato will learn what it means to be a Mafioso." G muttered. Giotto smiled and pats his Storm Guardian's head good-naturedly.

"Alright G; right now Tsuna and Hayato are playing outside… Well actually it's more like Tsuna flying around and Hayato following him with Air Bombs…" Giotto said sheepishly.

G stared at Giotto before falling back onto the bed and pulling the covers over. "I was never awake and did not just hear that sentence…"

Giotto sighed. Although G was stiff, he did care about Hayato in his own way.

"Juudaime, Juudaime! You're it!" Hayato squealed out, using multiple Air Bombs to fly around with Tsuna flying after him.

"I'll catch you Hayato-nii!" Tsuna yelled out with a wide smile on his face.

_**CRASH!**_

…

"Tsuna, Hayato, what was that?" Giotto yelled out of the infirmary window. Behind him, G stared up at the wall with an unreadable expression before covering his face with a pillow in exasperation.

"Nothing, Papa…" Tsuna responded. "That Dying Will Flame Statue over the gardens wasn't expensive, right?"

Giotto sweat dropped.

"Don't worry, Tsuna. I'll call someone to fix that… Just be more careful with the other priceless ornaments outside." Giotto called out, making a mental note to get the statue looked at.

G sighed. "You spoil him too much."

"I know." Giotto sighed. "But I can't help it; he's my _son_, G."

G nodded before looking at the Vongola Primo suspiciously. "And why are you here, by the way…?"

"To visit you after you got your ass blown up by your own five year old son." Giotto said simply, dodging the objects that his right hand man was throwing at him.

"No, what I meant was," G started, "Aren't you supposed to be doing your paperwork?"

…

"No! Please don't make me go back, its hell!" Giotto cried out as his Storm Guardian proceeded to unceremoniously throw him out of the infirmary and back to his own personal hell which was to push papers in his dark, unwelcoming office.

"It's your job as a freaking Vongola Boss to take care of the goddamned paperwork!" G yelled out, breaking the fourth wall and using it to kick Giotto out.

Hilda, the poor, unlucky maid, was the one to see the tattooed boss literally drag a crying and whining boss to his office. She sighed and slightly wondered why her bosses had to be Mafioso. Oh well, at least the pay was good.

**{Tsu 27 Goku 59 Yama 80 Hiba 18 Muku 69 Chro 96}**

"Ne, Hayato-nii," Tsuna started when they were both in their shared bed, "Papa said that we're starting preschool soon."

Hayato smiled. "Juudaime, I think that it might be a little different from regular preschools considering what the old man told me."

Tsuna blinked.

"How did Uncle G tell you?"

"Well, it was like…"

"_Hayato, you lousy brat this preschool will scar you for life, so you better not expect me to save you sorry behind, dammit!"_

"_Who said I needed your help, old man?"_

"_This is a freaking Mafia Preschool you brat! You should be scared for your life the moment you step foot through the door!"_

"_No way, I'm going to be the Juudaime's right hand man; I'm not scared of anything!" Hayato yelled out. G stopped for a second to look at his son with a sense of pride._

"_This preschool will have Spartan methods to make sure you're fit to be a Mafioso; there will be teachers and students who will both try to get to you and Tsuna. I doubt__** you **__could handle that…" G said offhandedly. Hayato glared and pulled out more dynamite._

"_**DIE, OLD MAN!"**_

"_**EFFING HELL, HAYATO!"**_

Tsuna sweat dropped at his older brother.

"Ne, Hayato-nii, so we have to be careful at the preschool huh," Tsuna murmured. "I hope we can make friends."

"Don't worry Juudaime; I'm sure that we'll be able to get through it. Right now, just go to sleep." Hayato recommended. Tsuna nodded and fell asleep to the smell of gunpowder from his brother.

**{Tsu 27 Goku 59 Yama 80 Hiba 18 Muku 69 Chro 96}**

"VVOOOOIIIII!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, TRASH!"

**BOOM**

**CRASH**

"_**FUCK!"**_

"Looks like XanXus-nii and Squalo-nii are here." Tsuna mentioned drowsily as he sat up along with Hayato who was spitting curses and reminding himself to plant dynamite in the annoying Varia member's beds.

"Juudaime, we should get dressed; today is the day we're supposed to go to that preschool." Hayato muttered, pulling out a black button up and shorts for himself and a sweatshirt and jeans for Tsuna, who took them from him.

The two of them took a bath, got dressed, and took out a pair of ear-plugs from their secret stash that they have when the Varia come to visit before going to breakfast.

"Ohayo, Papa."

"Yo, old man." The two five-year-olds got busy stuffing their faces with the chocolate chip pancakes that were waiting for them.

"Ohayo XanXus-nii, Squalo-nii, Mammon-nii, Bel-nii, Levi-nii, Luss-nee." Tsuna said after swallowing his bite of breakfast. Hayato gave a nod at all of them except for Bel. He hated the self-proclaimed prince ever since he almost killed Uri. He got his revenge by tying a lit rag on Mink's tail, which fueled their everlasting hatred for each other.

"Ushishishi, hello bomb brat; I heard that you're starting that Mafia preschool. Good luck; you'll need it." Bel sang out as he twirled his knife in between his fingers.

"What was that, you knife bastard?" Hayato growled out. G hit Hayato at the back of his head.

"Hayato, behave yourself." G mumbled out through his cereal.

"Tsuna, Hayato; do you two remember your Uncle Asari, Daemon, Alaude, and Cozart?" Giotto asked. The two nodded upon remembering their uncles that they met. "They're enrolling their kids in the school too, so be nice to them, ok?" Giotto said.

"Giotto, we better get them to school. XanXus do me a favor and try _not_ to blow up the house while we're gone. And no, that wasn't an order, I'm not that dumb, it's just a request as the Vongola Storm Guardian." G said, knowing that XanXus would shoot a hole in his head if he gave the teen an order.

XanXus gave an irritated grunt.

The two Vongola men walked outside to walk into the car with their two sons when-

"KYAA! GIOTTO-SAN!"

"G-SAN, MARRY ME!"

The two pointedly ignored the screaming fan girls and got into their car. G gave the driver a single look and said "Drive like a bat out of hell."

It would be an understatement to say that they got to the Preschool fast than a person could say 'Katekyo Hitman Reborn'.

"Haha that was fun Papa," Tsuna said upon exiting the speedy car. Giotto looked slightly green, yet smiled nonetheless.

"Yeah… Tsuna that was… fun…" Giotto stuttered out. G leaned against the black paint job and rested his head on his arm.

"I'm getting too old for this…" G muttered out.

"Giotto, G!" A redhead called out to the two.

"Cozart, nice to… see you again…" Giotto muttered out, resisting the urge to heave and upchuck. He was the Vongola Primo, dammit. Vongola Primos do **not **puke in front of their kid's new school.

"Giotto, are you alright, you look pale." Cozart said, worrying about his old friend. G turned to the driver.

"As soon as… you bring us back home… you **are** fired…" G growled out. The driver gave a sheepish smile. This wasn't the first time that G made the driver go at extreme speeds to avoid fan girls, but in the end, he never got fired.

"Ahaha… You two are still the same. Anyway, this is my kid, Enma. My little Mami isn't big enough to start school yet…" Cozart said, gesturing to the red-haired boy behind him.

"That's… _really_ interesting Cozart… I love you to death old friend… But I feel like utter shit…" G muttered out, gripping his stomach. He had a strong immune system and stomach due to Bianchi's Poison Cooking, but he still felt like he was going to see his breakfast again.

"G, you really haven't changed since when I've been in Japan." A familiar voice said, patting a hand on G's shoulder, making the tattooed man grip the Porsche harder in an attempt to not bowl over.

"Hey Asari…" Giotto said weakly. He felt a thump to his back and fell over, nearly suffocating Tsuna.

"Giotto. You're the Vongola Primo. I should arrest you for being taken down by a car ride and a kick." A handsome blonde in a trench coat said.

"GIOTTO! STAY STRONG; ALLOW ME TO PRAY THE LORD FOR YOUR SAFETY!" A black haired man in priest garbs shouted out.

Giotto's spirit left his body through his mouth.

"…I think you killed him, Alaude." A tall pineapple head piped out with two replicas at his legs; the girl with the skull eye patch looking at the man in curiosity and the boy with red and blue colored eyes chuckling quietly at the man.

"Papa?" Tsuna asked, poking his dad's cheek. Giotto twitched, not unlike a squirrel that was recently hit with a truck.

"Hey, Giotto, I thought you outgrew your loser phase when you became Primo." A voice said, leading back to a man with curly sideburns, a suit, and a green chameleon.

Giotto got the life smacked back into him and he shot straight up, along with G and the other nearby Guardians and Bosses.

"R-Re-Reborn-Sensei!" Giotto, G, Daemon, Asari, and Cozart yelped out. Alaude just got an unconvincing twitch in his eye.

"Ciaossu, my former students; I see that you brought fresh meat." Reborn stated calmly.

"Reborn, please, please, please, spare my little Chrome-chan." Daemon said desperately as said girl just tilted her head in confusion. "She's an innocent little girl, she doesn't deserve to be put through something so terrible."

Reborn only smiled.

"I'll see all of them in class."

'_He totally ignored the request.' _The men all thought at once, to Daemon's dismay.

**{Tsu 27 Goku 59 Yama 80 Hiba 18 Muku 69 Chro 96}**

Primo looked over to his son with a sort of sadness as he released his hand and Tsuna gave a reassuring smile. G stood by his boss and gave Hayato a sort of warning look that said not to mess this up. Hayato merely looked at him with a defiant look and nodded.

"Tsuna, you have your gloves right?"

"Yes Papa."

"You have your backup Dying Will Pills, right?"

"Yes Papa."

"Do you have Nut's ring?"

Tsuna lifted up the chain around his neck that gave an eager 'Rawr, rawr'.

"And remember, if anybody tries to kidnap you-"

"Burn them to crisp, right Papa?"

Primo patted his son's fluffy brunette hair. He was ready for his first day of preschool.

"HAYATO, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, NO MORE DYNAMITE?"

"SHUT IT '_KAA-SAN_! I'LL NEED IT TO PROTECT THE JUUDAIME!"

"BRAT! IF YOU KNEW HOW TO CONTROL URI, YOU WOULDN'T NEED DYNAMITES!"

"NOT MY FAULT YOU GOT ME A CAT THAT HATES ME!"

Tsuna sighed and took Hayato's hand before dragging him to the classroom and sitting at a table that was occupied by the kids he saw this morning.

"Hi, I'm Tsuna and this is Hayato; can we sit with you?" Tsuna asked with a smile.

"Hahaha, sure."

"EXTREME!"

"Kufufufu, sure."

"I'm OK with it if Mukuro-nii is."

"U-um, I don't mind."

"Hn, whatever Herbivore."

The two sat down and Tsuna sat in between the boy with red hair and eyes with lots of bandages and Hayato, who sat next to the tall kid with black hair and brown eyes.

The door was slammed open by a foot, ultimately turning the room silent.

Reborn walked inside and looked at all of the students.

"Hello class, you're all here because your parents are people called Mafioso and you are going to inherit their job. So now I must say that I am Reborn and," Reborn leaned on his desk and the chameleon jumped to his hand and transformed to a green gun, "Welcome to Mafia Preschool, in other words, HELL."


	2. Chapter 1: The First Day Seems Fun

I have officially decided that I love you all. I haven't even had this story on for week and my inbox is jammed full of reviews, alerts, etc. I will not give up, this story WILL LIVE DAMMIT!

And I still don't own KHR, if I did, Yuni would be Aria and Gamma's kid, Hayato's mom would be alive, Tsuna wouldn't have cheesy ass boxers (Stars, hearts, and pink. _Really? _I know the kid is supposed to be a loser, but he's fourteen and a guy. That's just stretching it.) And the anime wouldn't be on FRICKIN' HIATUS!

**BY THE WAY, CHECK MY POLL!**

Mafia Preschool: The First Day

At the Vongola HQ:

"**WHAT THE FREAKING HELL!"** G shouted out upon seeing the Vongola HQ.

It had a hole the size of Squalo's pride right through (**through**!) the main freaking hall.

Ass was going to be thrown six feet under.

G stomped towards the living room where he knew _they _would be.

"G, think this thoroughly, they're kids, they have mafia weapons in the house, and they piss each other off on a regular basis, so please just calm dow-"

Giotto was ignored as G took the safety off his gun and kicked the door down.

"**YOU FUCKING BRATS, DIE!"**

The Varia learned that day why G was in the Vongola Great Hall of Fame for Defeating the Most Men with a single Handgun and only Six Bullets.

"If you fuck up the mansion again, I will make sure that you be crapping lead for the next year and a half." G growled out. Xanxus's scars were all across his face, showing just how pissed off he was.

Giotto sighed.

"G, we might as well get that hole fixed, I invited the others over in thirty minutes and we need _that_ protection again."

G paled.

"You mean-"

Giotto nodded.

G sighed and left to put up the steel wall. He did _**not**_ want those rabid, insane, and completely nutty fan girls getting into the house. Again.

'_I wonder how Tsuna and the others are…'_ Giotto thought as he got several Vongola members to bring the Varia to the infirmary.

At Mafia Preschool:

"Juudaime, duck!"

"HIIIEEEEE!" Tsuna squealed out, dodging the ball that narrowly missed his head. It was recess and Reborn thought it would be good to get everyone to play dodge ball.

Against the sixth graders.

Reborn held a cocked gun against anybody that complained about this match up.

"Chrome-chan, get behind me." Mukuro said, putting up an illusion of brick walls in front of his sister. Mukuro then proceeded to throw balls at whoever threw them at his sister. He got three guys in one hit.

"Hahaha, this is fun." Takeshi said, narrowly dodging a ball that was aimed at his head. The sixth graders sure did like making head shots.

"E-Enma-kun! Look out!" Tsuna called out, and Enma tripped over his own two feet but managed to dodge the ball.

"Arigato Tsuna-kun." Enma mumbled out, getting back on his feet.

"What's wrong, kora? They're only preschoolers, kora!" Colonello yelled at his students, who flinched. They had to win this match or they would get punishment laps.

Reborn merely cocked his gun, causing the young children to gulp.

"Juudaime, go into HWDM!" Hayato called out, catching a thrown ball. Tsuna nodded and popped the blue pill into his mouth and got his Sky Dying Will Flames on his forehead and X-Gloves. Tsuna proceeded to fly upwards and avoid the balls that the sixth graders were throwing at him. They began to curse violently.

While the other team was busy trying to hit Tsuna, Gokudera passed the balls out to the other kids who all began to reenact Dodge Ball Massacre IIV.

Needless to say, Reborn smirked and held his hand out to a fuming Colonello. "Pay up."

Colonello grudgingly gave Reborn a number of crumpled euros and growled at his students. "Fifty punishment laps, kora!"

"Class, good job. We get a free period and the sixth graders do all the class chores today." Reborn said as the students cheered.

"What? That wasn't part of the deal, kora!" Colonello argued.

Leon transformed into a player and Reborn put a tape in it.

"Hey *hic* kora… If my kids *hic* lose the dodge ball match then… *hic* we'll do all your class chores kora…" Colonello's voice slurred out, indicating how intoxicated he was at the moment.

Reborn chuckled at Colonello's indignant expression.

"Lal is gonna tear me a new asshole for this, kora…" Colonello groaned out.

Many of the preschoolers asked each other what that meant, but the Hayato and Tsuna just shrugged. Living in the same house as G got them used to the vast sea of curses, death threats, and torture possible. This included fuckmongrel and shitweasel, which were curses that Hayato made up when a) the neighborhood dog got all balls and decided to attack Uri and b) when Bel's god-awful weasel pissing Hayato off to the point of making a curse just for it.

Tsuna walked over to Enma who had a new bruise on his face from when he fell during the game and handed him a Spongebob Band-Aid.

Enma stared at Tsuna. "Why do you have Band-Aids in your pocket?"

"I get hurt a lot." Tsuna answered sheepishly. Enma smiled. Papa told him to be nice to the Vongola because they were friends of the Shimon. Tsuna-kun seemed nice.

"Tsuna, Enma! Hurry up, we're having snacks!" Takeshi called out and narrowly dodged being punched in the head by Hayato.

"Stupid! Don't call the Juudaime so casually!" Hayato growled out and Takeshi laughed.

"Mah, mah Haya-chan."

"Bastard! Don't call me that!"

"Ne, Hayato-nii, are you coming?" Tsuna asked, pulling on Hayato's hand. Hayato smiled at Tsuna.

"Hai, Juudaime!"

With the Guardians:

"Damn you Cozart…" Daemon muttered, having to use an illusion as the iron wall since Cozart somehow managed to trip down a flight of stairs and land on G, who was pushing the controls for the fan girl protection, and crush the remote. This resulted in Daemon using his illusions to substitute, which was giving him a headache bigger than the one G got when Hayato discovered the technique of using the ventilation system as a quick way to get dynamite where he needed it to go.

Cozart smiled sheepishly and winced as G held an alcohol-ridden cotton ball to his cheek. "Itai… Gently please, G."

G scowled but complied nevertheless.

"I wonder how Enma is doing…" Cozart mused.

The Guardians all froze and they stopped thinking for a minute.

The screaming of fan girls could be heard.

"Shit! Daemon; put the illusion back on, dammit!" G growled out. "This is why you don't lose focus when you're making an illusion to save our chances of not getting fan-raped!"

Giotto sighed. Reborn made their lives hell even if he made their first day sugar sweet. After the first day, Reborn went unsaturated, rock-hard and complete Spartan on your ass.

"I remember that the first day was fun and I signed that damned contract saying that I would go back every day because I thought it would be like that. Damn Reborn." Giotto muttered.

That was the trick of the Mafia Preschool; make it seem fun on the first day, sign a contract that binds you to coming back, and making every day after that complete hell. It would be impossible to count the number of times a kid would fear for their life in that preschool. But it got the job done and prepared them for the harshness of Primary.

"I hope that Chrome-chan will listen to me and illusion her signature…" Daemon said, gripping his head from the pounding headache.

"Hn. Kyoya will go to that school and will return every day." Alaude said.

All the Guardians winced. They remembered the people who didn't come back. Sometimes, Giotto could still hear them saying 'No more laps Reborn-sensei… No more laps…'

Giotto and Cozart alike were both lucky that they could go through the school day in HDWM. If they didn't have their Dying Will Flames, they wouldn't have lasted a week.

"Hey, remember the field trip we had to Vendice Penitentiary?" Asari asked.

"GAAAHHH! THAT TRIP WAS EXTREMELY TERRIBLE!" Knuckles shouted out, praying to God as he tried to forget about the disastrous trip.

Apparently, they thought that another classmate, Byakuran, looked suspiciously similar to another criminal they had, Ghost, and kept the entire class there for three weeks to take a look at Byakuran's background and ensure that he wasn't connected to Ghost.

And just in case you don't know, three weeks in the Vendice Penitentiary is _**not**_ by _any_ circumstances fun.

It had even the renowned Vongola Primo shaking in his boots at the mere memory of that time.

Cozart gulped. That was one of his most terrifying memories in preschool. And it was a **Mafia** preschool, which is saying something about the Vendicare.

"Can we _please_ forget that month? I still have the scars that the Vendice gave me for 'not being a proper Mafioso and being impolite to a lady'." G muttered. Asari smiled weakly.

"Well, you _**were**_ pretty nasty to that Iris girl…"

"She sent her jackshit Death Stalk Unit on me since the third day of school!" G countered, remembering how he always had to carry an effing pistol or Iris would send her damn monsters on him.

"Anyway, Tsuna and the others should be back from their first day soo-"

_**SLAM!**_

"Papa!" Tsuna cried out, jumping on his dad. "Reborn sensei was really nice to us! We signed this thingy so that we could keep on going Papa!"

Daemon paled and grabbed Chrome by the shoulders, the fan girl wall forgotten.

"You made your signature an illusion right? Please tell me that you faked it." Daemon begged.

Chrome nodded and Daemon sighed in relief. With the signature an illusion, they could just lift it and Chrome wouldn't have to attend.

"But Mukuro-nii erased the illusion and forged my signature." Chrome said innocently.

Daemon gagged and choked for a second before turning to glare at his son.

"Mukuro-_chan_," Daemon said with the 'chan' a little too sugar sweet. "**You better run.**"

"'TOU-SAN, THE DAY WENT EXTREMELY WELL! I EXTREMELY CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I GO BACK TOMMOROW!" Ryohei shouted out. Knuckle paled and said every single prayer he knew while getting down on his knees and asking God for his son's safety at school.

Alaude and Hibari left without a word.

"Ne, Takeshi, did you sign the contract?" Asari asked.

"Yeah. What's wrong 'Tou-san? You look a little pale." Takeshi asked, not knowing of the danger he put himself in by signing that piece of paper.

"Hey old man, why's the Varia selling your stuff to those people?" Hayato asked, pointing out the window.

"The fu-"

"Chrome-chan has virgin ears, G." Daemon called out as Mukuro dodged his tackle.

G looked out the window and sure enough, the Varia were _selling_ **his** effing things.

To fan girls.

Oh _**hell**_ no. Now they were selling his freaking underwear.

G cocked his gun. The burn freak, noisy silver head, creepy knife prince, and even the damned Mist Arcobaleno were having their funeral.

"Hayato. Go get the shovel and call this number." G said, handing a slit of paper to his son. "Tell him that six bodies are coming and I need a new place. Write down the address he gives you."

Hayato opened his mouth to say "I only take orders from the Juudaime, you senile old man!" but the bloodthirsty look on G's face could make even the Vendice Penitentiary Warden flinch.

Giotto sighed. Looks like he'll have to call in Shamal again to fix the Varia.

Enjoy the last normal day you'll have as a Mafioso. Tomorrow, you're starting Mafia Preschool. Every day onwards will be a fight for your life.


	3. Chapter 2: The Second Day Equals Hell

Good lord, you guys are bloody _**wonderful**_. All the reviews favorites and you guys even checked out my poll like I asked. My email hates it though; it gets full so much it digitally hits me. I officially love you all.

And I don't own KHR; if I did, there would be more hints (for which pairing, it is undecided), Mukuro would be more of a pervert, Chrome would've beat M.M.'s sorry $$, and the anime wouldn't be on **FRICKIN' HIATUS!**

The Second Day Equals Hell

"Papa, I'll see you after school!" Tsuna called out cheerfully as Giotto dropped him off.

Poor oblivious Tsuna.

"G. Do you think that the—"

"Do you expect them to do anything else?" G asked pointedly; inwardly hoping that Hayato didn't listen to him and brought his dynamite to school. Giotto gulped as they drove away.

"God, I hope Knuckle's prayers worked…" Giotto mumbled.

In class:

"Hi everyone!" Tsuna said happily with Hayato following him as they sat down.

"What do you think we'll do today?" Takeshi asked. Tsuna opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by Reborn's foot shoving the door open with a '**SLAM!**'.

"Ohayo, Reborn-sensei." The class chorused out happily, wondering what was going to happen toda—

Wait. Back track a second.

What was that evil smirk on Reborn-sensei's face?

Tsuna and Enma gulped. Their dads told them that whenever Reborn-sensei got an evil smirk on his face, to ask to go to the bathroom and jump out the window at the first chance.

Mukuro almost regretted forging Chrome-chan's signature. Maybe he should've let her illusion it…

"Hello my no good loser students; yesterday was a lot of fun ne?" Reborn asked teasingly. "Well, if you signed that contract, which you all did, you're going to continue to come back. Now the fun is over and training begins. I'm going to whip you into shape for the Mafia. Here I say that different children will most likely try to… get rid of you because of your Famiglia. You pass if you live. And I will not have any of you failing."

Reborn was cocking his pistol with a satisfied look on his face while he was saying that.

"Tsuna, Enma, and Yuni. I need the three of you to the Primary school division and give this note to Verde-sensei. He should be in room VER."

"H-Hai, Reborn-sensei." The three future mafia bosses stuttered out, moving to take the note from their sense—

"HIIEEEE!" "GUWAH!"

Who just shot a stream of Sun attribute flames at them, via Leon in pistol form. Both Tsuna and Enma ducked under the table and stared fearfully at the small crater in the wall.

"Oji-sama…" Yuni sighed out.

Reborn shrugged and handed Yuni the note. Those two were the only future Mafia** bosses** in the class besides Yuni, yet the common Mafioso's children seemed better than them. Reborn would have to see how they were with Dying Will Flames activated and see how much better they were.

"Tsuna-kun, Enma-kun, let's go." Yuni said to the two shaking boys.

"H-Hai, Yuni-san." The Loser Duo stuttered out as the three walked out of the class.

"Don't call me Yuni-san, we're not strangers." Yuni replied cheerfully.

"G-gomenasai." The two said to the Giglionero heir, who just laughed.

"Call me Yuni-chan." Yuni told the two boys who then nodded and sped up to keep up with Yuni.

Enma tripped over his own two feet and Tsuna tripped over Enma.

"Nnnnnn…" "It-t-t-tai…" The two groaned out and Yuni smiled slightly while helping them up.

"Oh, we're here." Yuni told the two as they were outside a door with a green tinted window with 'VER' on a sign that was hanging from the door.

Tsuna and Enma both shivered. If this guy was anything like Reborn-sensei…

The two five-year-olds contemplated running for the hills and hoped that they could just slide the message under the door and run.

Yuni knocked on the door without hesitation.

That hope was cruelly and maliciously crushed.

The door opened to reveal a man with spiky dark green hair, glasses, a lab coat, and an evil smirk.

Let's not forget the alligator on his shoulder and the sheepish blonde that had his hair in the man's grip.

"Ah, Yuni-chan. What is it?" Verde asked as the blonde looked fearfully at the group of preschoolers and mouthed 'Run for your lives' towards the group.

"Reborn oji-sama told us to give you this." Yuni said, handing the note to the man, who took the note with one hand, pushed the poor student to the floor, rested his left Armani shoe on the boy's head which pinned him down and opened the note.

'_He's so cruel!'_ Both Tsuna and Enma thought as they looked at their blonde upperclassman worriedly.

_**Verde, open up the hatch and announce that it's officially **_**that**_** time and students are free to persecute enemy Famiglia children. The two boys with Yuni are the heirs to the Vongola and Shimon Famiglia. –Reborn**_

Verde smirked and took a remote from his lad coat pocket. Dino's eyes widened fearfully upon seeing that remote.

He shivered when the time came last year. He was almost thrown off the roof that day.

Verde ignored his student and put in an earpiece and microphone.

"**Ahem, students; it's officially the annual Battle Royale, Mafia-Style. Students are now free to persecute and attack children of enemy Famiglias. This is Verde-sensei saying that if the Giglionero boss is harmed in ANY way, the Arcobaleno staff members will be on your ass. I see it fit to also mention that the heirs to the Vongola and Shimon Famiglia are now attending and the Chiavarone boss is still attending. That is all."** Verde said into the microphone, which was revealed to be attached to the loudspeaker. The three mafia heirs paled. This would not go down smoothly.

"Where's that damn Vongola brat? How dare the Vongola come here after taking down the Estraneo Famiglia along with the Six Hell Runt?"

"Shimon is dead for what they did to the Todd Famiglia!"

"Chiavarone is gonna wish he never saw daylight after allying with the Tomaso Famiglia!"

"Hey, there they are!"

Oh crap. Here comes the hell storm.

"Run Enma-kun!" Tsuna yelled out while going into HDWM. Enma followed his lead and easily activated his Earth Flames. Dino desperately called out his Sky Horse and rode away, nearly falling off, but sheer fear kept him on. Tsuna had Nuts out and started to beg the Sky Lion to go into Cambio Forma, but it was too scared to move.

Verde sent Reborn a text message from his iPhone.

'_The three loser bosses have started their training.'_

'_This should be entertaining; I'll call Colonello and Lal, you get Mammon and Fon. Don't even bother with the errand boy.'_

Verde rolled his eyes and left his Substitute cyborg in the room of terrified third graders. He put the machine on 'Shoot if they Ditch' and left with a stern look and left to the Guidance Counselor's Office and opened the red tinted door.

"Yes, I-Pin, what is it—Oh Verde! I wasn't expecting you." A man in traditional red garbs said. Verde sighed. Fon might get in trouble if he hung around that I-Pin girl too much; even though they were close due to the girl's self-esteem issues going back to his job as a counselor and the fact that they were childhood friends, he would probably be labeled as a pedophile.

"The announcement; the young bosses are being attacked at the moment." Verde stated.

Fon sighed.

"You know, this wouldn't happen every year if we just canceled the Battle Royale." Fon stated dryly. Verde smirked.

"But Fon, it's more fun this way." Verde started, but stopped himself upon feeling a presence behind him. He turned to see a tear-faced girl with black twin braids. Year 5, I-Pin.

"*Sniff* F-Fon; Inami-san was teasing me again…" I-Pin sniffled out while clutching the skirt of her primary school uniform consciously.

"Wasn't Skull-sensei there to stop them?" Fon asked his friend worriedly. I-Pin shook her head, whipping her braids slightly.

"N-no, he said that M-Mafioso's need to learn to d-deal with others." I-Pin sniffled out.

An angry red aura emerged from Fon, which went unnoticed by I-Pin. Verde smirked. Fon was always more entertaining when he was enraged.

"I-Pin-chan, I'll train you after school some Gyoza Kempo and martial arts to protect yourself from Inami and those mean girls, ok?" Fon asked, handing a handkerchief to I-Pin, who nodded before walking in the direction back to class.

Verde shook his head.

"Fon, people are going to think of you as a pedophile." Verde sighed out. Fon merely shrugged.

"I'm doing my job as a friend and a counselor." Fon defended. Verde shrugged and led the two of them to the Grade sevens Advanced Math Class. Upon opening the door, two tentacles attacked the men, resulting in Fon avoiding it in a swift Ukemi and Verde shocking the tentacle with a smaller version of Electrico Thunder.

"Ah, Fon, Verde, I apologize; I thought it was my troublesome students that went to the restroom and haven't come back after fifteen minutes." Mammon told the two. Fon smiled and Verde scowled.

"It's alright Vi-Mammon."

"Be more attentive about who you're attacking Viper."

Vein twitch.

"Verde, my name is Mammon. Get it right," Mammon stated while creating illusions of several knives, saws, axes, sickles, etc., all aimed at Verde, "Or be castrated."

Verde growled and Mammon lifted his illusions and the students began to sweat profusely.

"Mammon, I think that you've gotten somewhat more violent after joining the Varia." Fon stated simply. Mammon shrugged.

"I take no insult to that." Mammon stated, leaving an illusion of several machine guns pointed at the students. "Move from your seats and die."

It was easy to say that not one of them moved.

Upon going to the outer field, they saw the three heirs running from several other Mafioso children and the other Arcobaleno already there. Even Skull, who must've came because Reborn called him to bring drinks.

Fon took Skull away from the group to *ahem* discuss how the other girls were treating I-Pin.

Skull feared for his life the second Fon said the words "I heard how I-Pin was treated in class today, Skull."

Fon knew that he couldn't kill Skull though, due to the fact that Skull was a Arcobaleno and the fact that Luche would be disappointed in him if he dirtied the outer field with blood.

Reborn looked over at Verde knowingly. "You'd think Skull would've learned by now to treat I-Pin carefully. But for now, let's observe the future bosses."

With the three Tortured Bosses:

"Eat this, Cloud Bullet!" A sixth grader called out, flaring up a B-Class ring and using the purple flames as ammo for a machine gun. (Kind of like how Lal does in the future.)

"Enma-kun, Dino-san, get behind me!" Tsuna called out, putting his hands so that they faced opposite of each other with a space in the middle of his fingers. "Zero Point Breakthrough: Revised!"

The purple shots got sucked into the space between Tsuna's hands and the flames on his hands and forehead flickered on and off. When the shots were completely consumed, Tsuna's flames doubled in size.

'_So that's the famous redone version of the Original Zero Point Breakthrough that not only takes the intended flames, but converts it to one's own energy; Tsunayoshi Vongola's own technique, Zero Point Breakthrough Revised.'_ Reborn thought, remembering the files that he was given by Luche about his students. _'A downside to this attack however, is that he can't absorb attacks that come from behind.'_

Damn Reborn for jinxing him.

Because the second that Reborn thought that, a third year decided to throw some Lightning Daggers at Tsuna's back, and was consequently where Dino and Enma were.

Enma managed to see the red projectiles out of the corner of his unique red eyes and immediately used the gravity characteristic of his Earth Flames to make the Daggers freeze in midair and send them back where they came from.

"Arigato, Enma-kun." Tsuna said with a smile.

"No problem, Tsuna-kun." Enma responded easily. Dino looked amazed at his underclassmen.

"Well I can't let my kawaii underclassmen upstage me." Dino said finally, bringing out his Sky Whip.

'_Dino Cavallone of the Chiavarone Famiglia is only capable physically when he is protecting others that he cares about. The only way that the Idiot Dino will be able to help those two would be if he already accepted those two Losers as his friends.' _Reborn mused. Dino gave a challenging look to the attacking students.

"Dino-san, look out!" Tsuna shouted out at the blonde boss who got ready for his attack specialty.

"Salto Volante Velone Come Luce." Dino said while moving the Sky Whip at an impossible speed, which knocked back all of the other students charging at them.

Reborn smirked under his fedora. All of the past years, Dino was thrown off of the roof and suffered major injuries all the past years because before he had nobody to protect. With the new Vongola and Shimon bosses here, it changed the tides entirely.

"Juudaime, look out below!" A familiar voice shouted out. Tsuna immediately grabbed the two other bosses by the sleeve and lay down on the ground in a single swift movement as orange sticks of dynamite were thrown overhead. "Double Bombs!"

"Hahaha, this looks like fun; Shigure Soen Ryu: Scontro di Rondine!" Takeshi yelled out, attacking the offending students with a battle cry.

"Hayato-nii, Takeshi-nii!" Tsuna cheered out, happy to finally have some back up. Although Tsuna, Enma, and Dino were impressive for their age the ratio was 3:12,354,452,641. Not a good match-up unless you have back-up. Mukuro, Chrome and Ryohei were currently running towards the group.

Reborn smirked. Time to see how strong the future Vongola Guardians were.


	4. Chapter 3: The Second Day is a Mob Fight

Come on, come on, come on, **we can do this! THREE MORE! THREE MORE REVIEWS AND WE REACH FORTY! LET'S DO IT PEOPLE! **

I love you all SOOOO much! :] and please **CHECK MY POLL!**

I **EXTREMELY** don't own KHR! If I did, I would've made Tsuna cross-dress at least once! *Goes into Corner of the Sulk*

Hayato: *sigh* Alright, who gave the idiot the key to the Corner of the Sulk?

Tsuna: G-Gomenasai, Hayato-nii…

Hayato: N-No! I'm sure if it was the Juudaime, you had a good reason to~

Note: From now on, the Primo and Decimo techniques are shared between the generations, because it wouldn't be fair to have them in the same era with the same flames and _not_ have them share each other's techniques. There is however, the individual Vongola Gear X that the Decimo Generation has that is individual to them only, though. I might make certain techniques that are also individual to the Primo Generation though… It might take a while though.

The End of the Second Day is a Mob Fight

"Maximum Cannon!" A certain white-haired preschooler shouted out, punching several attackers and severely maiming them for the next few months. Oh well, they shouldn't have gone against the Vongola. Because the clams are the effing _boss_.

"I'll bite you to death, Herbivores." Kyoya said, running headfirst into the mob. Bodies were flying away and screams could be heard from that general direction. The skylark was pissed. Translation: run like hell.

"Kufufufu. Chrome-chan, would you like to assist me in disposing of these who wish to see the wrath of the Vongola?" Mukuro asked eerily. Chrome nodded with determination shining in her one eye as she clutched a trident identical to her brother's.

"Hai, Mukuro-nii." Chrome said before swinging her trident with eased grace while Mukuro tapped his trident on the ground and summoned multiple illusions. Several unfortunate individuals will have trouble sleeping tonight.

"Eat this, Triple Bombs!" Hayato shouted out and the entire Vongola and Chiavarone boss jumped out of range as Hayato threw down 24 sticks of dynamite. A lucky fourth grader got behind Hayato and aimed a Mist machete before going for the swing.

"Shigure Soen Ryu: Sakamaku Ame." Takeshi said, shielding Hayato from the weapon. Takeshi turned to smile at Hayato.

Hayato returned his pleasantries with a heated glare.

Reborn smirked. _'The Guardians seem to have no trouble standing their guard. Not perfect, but they're impressive for their age.'_

Tsuna caught sight of the Arcobaleno teachers staring at them (minus Skull and Fon) and gave them a pleading look.

"Reborn-sensei, please help!" Tsuna called out at the indifferent hitman, who only pulled his fedora over his eyes.

"This is necessary to you, your Guardians, and your allied Famiglias. A Vongola boss who can't do this much isn't worth living." Reborn said coldly. All of the students winced. How sadistic of him.

"Enma! You baka; can't even go your second day of Preschool without starting a riot! Loser Enma." A voice called out, revealing a smart looking boy with green hair and red eyes. He looked like he could be only slightly older than Enma, but still looked like he could be in Preschool nonetheless.

Enma blinked before breaking out in a small smile. "Koyo-nii!"

"We would've come sooner if Julie didn't try to feel up Adel and her punishment kept us from getting here sooner." A fairly tall and large boy said. He was no way younger than first or second grade, and looked slightly beefy.

A tall black haired girl that looked Enma's age glared at a boy of the same age who was wearing a backwards hat and thick rimmed glasses.

Enma stifled a sigh. Adel-nee and Julie-nii were still the same as always.

"And you're still being pathetic Enma; I don't see why we should help your sorry ass." Julie stated. Adel took a metal fan from a holster that was strapped to her inner thigh and hit him across the head.

Yup, still the same as always.

A floating figure landed next to the group. It had a fairly bald head, pouty lips and two inflatable—

Oh, never mind, it's just Shittopi-nee.

A large blonde figure walked up to the group. He looked about fourth grade at the least and was fairly muscled. The Vongola stared at the newcomer warily while Enma just held up an easygoing hand.

"Hi Kaoru-nii." Enma stated. Tsuna gulped. Enma-kun was nice, but he had some strange brothers and sisters.

Well, it's not like he could talk, with a pair of pineapple twins with giant forks, a walking stick of dynamite with a lethal cat, a kid that could tower over several first graders and is trained in a master sword technique, a kid that can knock out three grown men in less than a minute that loves boxing, and a skylark that has an obsession with discipline and animals.

(A/N: A pet bird, Herbivores, Carnivores, I'll **bite** you to death. If that doesn't scream animal obsess, I don't know what does. If he didn't end up fighting him, I think that he and Ken might've gotten to be good friends… Hey, it can happen!)

"I'll make you pay for attacking Loser Enma!" Koyo yelled out, activated his Forest Flames and effectively kicked ass. Ryohei recognized Koyo's attack and ran up to join him.

"A FELLOW BOXER! I **EXTREMELY** WON'T LOSE TO YOU!" Ryohei yelled out, punching multiple other students and matching Koyo's speed.

Koyo sneered. "I won't let a brainless Vongola like you take down more people than me!"

"I **EXTREMELY** WON'T EITHER!"

'_They __**do**__ realize that they won't know who beats more people unless they count right?' _Tsuna and Enma thought at once, sighing over their Sun and Forest Guardians respectively.

"Kufufufu. Nagi, let's practice those illusions that Father taught us." Mukuro recommended.

"Hai, Mukur—"

"Hey there, you're cute, err, Nagi." Julie started, getting in between Chrome and Mukuro.

Mukuro's left eye twitched irritably and he resisted the urge to show this pervert who was flirting with his sister the wrath of Pineapple the Second.

It would be his own fault for flirting with Pineapple the Third.

Mukuro gave into his brotherly instincts. He pushed the pointy end of his trident at the womanizer's throat.

"Oya, oya. What do we have here? An insect trying to flirt with _**my**_ Chrome-chan?" Mukuro asked, with his eye twitching, just aching to show the creep the Six Paths of Reincarnation.

Julie scoffed. "Lay off, Pineapple Head."

…

Oh _**shet**_.

He did _not_ go there. He did **not** insult the hair.

The hair was taboo. Ask the last person who insulted the hair after you find the body, drag it from the sewage, and have the guy go through intense psychology. Then he'll only be able to mutter "Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple…"

Mukuro can, after all, leave quite an impression on people.

Mukuro twitched as a shadow was cast over his eyes. His smile was still there, but he was gripping his trident fiercely and a red glint came out of his right eye and a single horizontal line could be seen. The kanji for one: The Realm of Hell.

Mukuro held out his left hand with his right holding his trident in a death grip as a yellow haze grew over his left hand.

"Kufufufu. What did you call me?" Mukuro asked. The yellow haze was taking an oval-like shape and some green haze was being formed at the top.

"I called you a Pineapple Head, you damned Mist." Julie jeered. Chrome would've backed away if not for Julie's grip on her forearm. Mukuro-nii was getting mad. Tsuna and the others watched as the haze on Mukuro's hand condensed into—

A pineapple.

…

How anticlimactic.

Mukuro stabs the authoress here before returning to the task on hand: killing the sister-flirting ass dumb enough to flirt with his dear Nagi.

Not like anybody _wouldn't _want to flirt with the cute Chrome-cha—

Stab.

Itai. Please stop Muku-chan. That hurts.

Anyway…

Mukuro immediately went into Fourth Realm which activated his enhanced combat skill and threw all his illusionary pineapples at Julie, careful not to hit Chrome.

Enma sighed. Of all the times to go lusting after a girl, does it have to be **now**? When they were fighting for their _lives_?

Oh well. It was at least slightly better than the time Julie started to flirt with the enemy. It doesn't matter that your opponent has big bazookas; you don't ask them out in the middle of a fight!

Although, after that time, Adelheid-nee beat him into a near-death state and that didn't help much because then they were down a Guardian which didn't really help because the mission would've been ideal to a Mist and/or Desert user.

Tsuna whispered something to Chrome, who blinked before nodding with a calm smirk (Yes people. **Chrome** smirked.) She moved ever-so-slightly until she was only a few feet away from a fifth grader who as expected attacked Chrome, who upon noticing the upperclassman move, screamed bloody murder.

"**KYAAAAAAAA!**" Chrome screamed. Mukuro immediately turned and threw the pineapple in his hand at the offending attacker.

Mukuro Protective Brother Mode: Destroy those Who Attack Chrome, _Activated_.

Julie Getting Close to Cute Nagi Mode: Fight to Protect the Girl/Impress Protective Brother, _Activated_.

Needless to say, all of the poor souls within 10 meters were quickly foaming at the mouth due to the cruel images relayed in their brain.

All Vongola, Shimon, and Chiavarone members pointedly looked away from that general direction. Hayato went as far as covering Tsuna's ears. The Juudaime shouldn't hear such grotesque sounds.

Adelheid using her already withdrawn metal fans glared at the other students.

"I'll punish you in name of the Liquidation Committee." Adelheid announce. Kyoya got a nasty look in his eye.

"No. They will be bitten to death by the Disciplinary Committee." Kyoya glared. Without waiting for a response, he dove in the mob, tonfas ready to whoop ass.

Adelheid glared at the prefect before running in the same direction, fans ready to show the prefect that the Liquidation Committee is far better than the Disciplinary Committee.

'_Th-They're just like Koyo and Ryohei!' _The two Famiglia Bosses thought at once.

Kaoru merely activated his ring, which turned into a type of stinger and he charged into the crowd, with Takeshi following him using Shigure Soen Ryu: Scontro Di Rondine.

(I'm sorry, but there is absolute jackshit information on Kaoru's weapon right now, so I'm having him use his Ring Weapon like how knights use those gallant things. But his have his flames on the weapon. But there's no info on the flame either… Screw it; just imagine him through the mob with a big pointy thing on the arm that his ring was on.)

"Rauji-nii, can you watch our backs?" Enma asked the blonde, slightly chubby boy, who nodded and created several miniature mountains in order to slow down the flood of oncoming students.

"Hayato-nii, could you please…?" Tsuna asked. Hayato got a gleeful smile and happily took out as many dynamites as he could.

"Leave it to me, Juudaime!" Hayato shouted out, running headfirst into the sea of attacking Mafioso students with a war cry and explosions soon following. Oh, it must be nice to be able to pickpocket bombs into one's school uniform. Later, Adelheid or Hibari would punish them for getting their uniforms blown up.

"Shittopi-nee, could you help him; Hayato-kun seems a bit too reckless." Enma asked his Swamp Guardian, who merely shrugged.

"He seems interesting. Like a UMA…" Shittopi stated before floating into his general direction. It was easy to tell. There were scorch marks and smoke everywhere.

Tsuna sweat dropped. "Do I want to know?"

Enma thought about for a good five seconds before responding "No, I'm pretty sure you don't. But if Hayato-kun finds a floating figure outside his bedroom window at night, tell him it's just Shittopi-nee."

Tsuna only blinked, opened his mouth to comment, thought better of it, and closed his mouth.

He was the Vongola Primo's son. He was used to this. He met the Varia and lived for more than three visits. That itself proved that he was relatively good when it came to working under stress.

"Well, let's help them out." Dino said, grabbing his whip. Enma and Tsuna looked back at Dino and nodded.

"Yeah!"

"U-Un!"

Vongola, Shimon, and Chiavarone; three Famiglias that have been allies for a long history and when they are on a mission together, ass is whooped.

There is honestly no better way to explain it.

With the Arcobaleno:

"Ano, _Reborn-__**kun**_," A kind-yet-scary voice said out loud. "Why are the three future Famiglia Bosses being attacked?"

The Arcobaleno gulped. Mammon immediately escaped and returned to his classroom pale-faced. Verde had an underground system to take him away. Colonello bluntly said "We gotta go, kora!" grabbed Lal by the arm and ran off, leaving dust in his wake.

Reborn was at the full mercy of Luche. His boss, the leader of the Arcobaleno, the Mafia Education Program Principal and

His pregnant wife.

Yes. You heard right. Reborn's wife Luche is indeed pregnant with their second child. It was strange, but Arcobaleno never age, so although Luche looked the same age as their first daughter, Aria, she was still—

Luche now cock blocks the authoress, who was about to reveal her age.

Reborn normally would not fear Luche. He was the world's most renowned hitman. Best assassin in the underworld. He's broken more hearts than there are grains of sand on every beach in the world.

But this was different. Luche was seven months pregnant and deep into mood swing territory.

"Reborn-kun. _Answer me_." Luche said a mallet in her hands. And it wasn't the cheap, plastic and rubber kiddy ones that squeak when they hit something, either. Luche was holding the mallet that could easily crack a pavement, break a bone, or knock a door down in a single swing. But Luche was trained and familiar with a mallet. It only took a flick of a wrist to knock you into a coma easily for two months.

And that wouldn't be a bother for Luche. Two months later the baby would arrive. Reborn would wake up at about the time of the kid's birth, so all would be well.

Reborn gulped discreetly.

This would **not** end nicely.

Luche turned her attention to the students that were stupid enough to try to attack the Vongola, Shimon, and Chiavarone future bosses.

They were lying in a steaming heap in the floor.

And the ones that weren't were getting their butts to them by the preschoolers and primary students.

Luche walked up to the students attacking the bosses and smiled.

This smile, however, was not her kind, loving smile. This smile was her evil; you're getting detention with Student Advisor Byakuran unless you come up with some miracle that saves your ass.

"Minna-_chan_," Luche started. "Would you please be so kind as to return to your classes?"

The students sensed Principal Luche's killer aura and fled for their lives.

The three bosses and the thirteen Guardians were frozen on the spot when she said "Not you all."

Principal Luche's Office:

Giotto, G, Asari, Knuckles, Daemon, Alaude, Cozart, and the Primo of the Chiavarone Famiglia, Alfonso, nearly broke down the door as they ran in.

"Auntie Luche! Is Tsuna ok?" Giotto yelled out as he rushed the door down.

G immediately slid into a bow. "I apologize Auntie Luche for my terrible son, please forgive him!"

Hayato glared at his adopted father. Senile old bastard.

Asari laughed. "Hahaha, so Auntie Luche, what'd you call us for?"

Alfonso was pale. All of the past years, the school nurse would call him to tell him of Dino's condition. But if it's so bad that Luche had to call him…

Please, please, please, let it not be that Dino got assassinated this year. No, no, no.

"Calm down Alfonso, Dino is still alive." Luche told her former student, who sighed in relief.

"I called you all here because your kids were the main targets of the Battle Royale."

The Guardians all paled.

"They all lived."

The Guardians all released the breath they were holding.

"But they will have to receive special instruction due to the fact that they incapacitated over 15,000 students."

Alaude looked over to Kyoya with something that could've been considered a smile. "Impressive Kyoya. I'm proud of you."

Kyoya nodded back with the same miniscule smile.

The other Guardians however paled. 'Special Instruction' meant being stuck with all the kids that committed crimes, have been trialed for adults, and couldn't be sent to Vendice due to their young age.

Daemon looked Chrome over to see if she had any wounds and upon seeing Mukuro's state, saw red.

"Mukuro. Who did that to you?" Daemon asked, referring to the swelling around his red right eye.

"Kufufufu, this is nothing father. Just some aftermath from using too many A-Class illusions against a pervert that was trying to flirt with Chrome-chan and the students attacking her."

Julie, who was in the room, paled.

"Nufufufu, Mukuro, who is that dead boy?" Daemon asked, revealing his Scepter, which immediately flared up with Mist Flames.

Julie stared fearfully as Mukuro pointed at him.

It took the Primo Guardians some time to restrain Pineapple head the First. It finally ended with Luche decided to stop Daemon.

Knuckles immediately got to work on healing Daemon's head pains.

"Ne, so you have to sign this to transfer your kids into the Special Instruction class." Luche said cheerily. Primo paled.

"Err, Aunt Luche, is there a way out of—"

Luche swung her mallet at the wall next to Primo, signifying her answer.

_No, there is not. Now sign it or have a pregnant lady whoop your ass._

Giotto hoped that was his Hyper Intuition going hijack and reluctantly signed the paper before passing the pen to G.

When the two sheets (one for Mukuro, one for Chrome) got to Daemon, Luche found it necessary to voice out "And Daemon-kun, if you dare to illusion your signature, I will hit you hard enough to pop your liver."

Daemon gulped and signed the sheets before holding out the pen for Alfonso to take.

"Auntie Luche, please, you've seen what's happened to Dino the last years, he's No-Good and can't even pass the regular classes much less the Special Instruction classes!"

_**Stab.**_ There went what little pride Dino had. "Papa!"

"Alfonso-kun, I believe that the Special Instruction classes will be beneficial to Dino. Especially when the Vongola and Shimon go with him so there will be someone there for him to protect." Luche said "So sign it."

Alfonso didn't dare resist the order.

"Alright, since the school day is technically over, I believe that it's time for you all to get home. You have to rest up for tomorrow anyhow." Luche said, doing all but kicking them all out.

Wonderful. Just effing wonderful.

"Oh and Giotto-kun," Luche called out. "You might want to be careful; your son is such a cute little shota, he might get kidnapped!"

Giotto paled while Tsuna was mouthing 'shota' and wondering what it meant.

"G, when we get home—"

"Wine or champagne?"

"Whiskey please."

OMAKE:

"**NANI!"** G shouted out upon seeing the guest room portion of the Vongola Mansion.

The room was charred black. There were shiny knives sticking out of the left wall. Oh god, he hoped that the snakes and slime on the other wall was an illusion. A certain stupid, loud, silver-haired swordsman screaming "VOOOIIIIII" was trapped _**in **_the far wall. And the freaking ceiling wasn't even there anymore!

"Giotto…" G started with his left eye twitching madly. "Control that damn cousin of yours."

Xanxus glared at G while blowing the smoking end of his X guns.

Giotto laughed sheepishly. "Looks like the rest of Guardians and the kids will have to bunk in some other rooms. Tsuna tugged his father's hand.

"Ne, ne, Papa, can all of the 'nii-sans and Chrome-nee sleep in mine and Hayato's room tonight?" Tsuna asked eagerly. Giotto smiled and nodded.

"Ano, Hayato-nii, you don't mind do you?" Tsuna asked his brother, who just shook his head with a puppy dog look.

"No! Of course not Juudaime!" Hayato cheered eagerly.

"Ne, Haya-chan, is this your cat?" Takeshi asked, holding Uri by the scruff.

"URI! Let him go, baseball freak!"

"Hiiiieeeee! Hayato-nii, please don't blow up Takeshi-nii!"

"Those who disturb the peace will be bitten to death."

"Kufufufu. This looks like fun, ne Chro—Stay away from her you pervert."

"Make me, Pineapple Head."

"M-Mukuro-nii…"

"Enma, stay away from them; you'll catch their stupid."

"You're one to talk, Red Leaves Green Leaves."

"Shut up! They're all leaves of the same forest!"

"You want to fight?"

"Let go of Uri!"

"Hayato! No dynamite in the house!"

"Hiiiieeeee, Kyoya-nii!"

"**EXTREME FREE-FOR-ALL!**"

Giotto sighed. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

_**THINGS TO DO:**_

_**-REVIEW**_

_**-ALERT**_

_**-CHECK MY POLL**_


	5. Chapter 4: Transfering to Hell

FRICK YES! I HIT 50 REVIEWS *does happy dance*

I must say, I had a different account on here to put up stories for Soul Eater a few years back, but I eventually got rid of it because I got some troll-faced bastards telling me my writing sucked. After improving my writing and confidence somewhat, I got back on the site to type things up for KHR, and I'm very pleased by the results. And for those troll-faced bastards that were totally messing on my stories, what are you going to do to me now? CAPS LOCK me to death? That's _**really**_ going to do some good.

Tsuna: Thank you for reading this story, and please help the authoress get more reviews or who knows what she'll do to me? *insert cute sparkly eyes here*

Luche: Well I have a pretty good idea, seeing at how much of a shota you are.

Tsuna: Eto… What does a shota mean? Hayato-nii, Takeshi-nii, Mukuro-nii, Hibari-nii, Ryohei-nii, Chrome-nee, and even Xanxus-nii didn't tell me. Enma-kun didn't know what a shota meant…

Luche: That's because he's a shota too.

Enma: Is that good or bad?

Luche: Well, it would be bad if you were in an alley full of horny upperclassmen and you couldn't activate your Dying Will Flames for one reason or another. It's also a good thing, however, because you two know how to manipulate people unconsciously.

*Both Tsuna and Enma look confused*

*I snap shots of their cute expressions (yes I have a shota-complex and I am proud of it)*

Luche: And why are you even here? You don't own us.

*Stab*

Me: Ugh. That was a direct hit.

Reborn: Luche, Aria invited us to dinner with her husband and Yuni.

Luche: Well, you better read the story now. *Leaves while thinking up ideas on how to torture Gamma if he doesn't take care of her daughter*

Note: Due to confusion, I feel it necessary to say that the Arcobaleno are all in adult form.

The Third Day is the First at Special Instruction

_A dark room full of children all huddled together with clenched eyes and flinching at the sounds that came from the other room. The steel door opened and a body was flung inside._

"_Gabriel, are you alright?" A familiar purple-haired girl asked, peeping out of the group. Two boys—one blonde, the other with bandages wrapped around his head—followed her._

"_Ye-yeah, Nagi…" Gabriel whimpered out as the three of them brought him into the group huddle as a scientist was figuring out which experiment to continue._

_He decided to start with a new one._

_Grabbing a boy by the arm, the frightened boy struggled against the grip. The scientist growled before pressing the barrel of a gun to his head._

"_Damn brat, there's no problem with putting down a disobedient rat!"_

_And with a twitch of his index finger, the gun went click and the new prisoner of the Estraneo Famiglia died._

"_Tony!" Nagi yelped. Gabriel shivered at the sight of Tony's body._

"_We might as well continue the Six Paths of Reincarnation with you, then!" the scientist said, grabbing Nagi and pulling her out. Ken growled at the scientist who sneered back before grabbing Ken._

"_The Wolf Channel could use some work as well!"_

_Chikusa could only watch as his two friends were dragged away from him._

_Ken's screamed were muffled by the tubes in his mouth. His fangs burned so much. It felt like hell. Tubes after tubes were added into his mouth when he adjusted to the Wolf Channel._

_Nagi had a tube over her eye and several more on her abdomen. Her organ felt like they were already crushed and broken. Nagi screamed more and more loudly as the seconds passed. Blood was seeping out from her eye at an unhealthy rate._

_Chikusa only held a crying two-year-old as he listened to their screams. The screams made him wish that he would go deaf and never have to hear his friends scream like that ever again._

Why? _Nagi thought,_ Mukuro-nii had left her to try to steal some breakfast for them and she was captured. That was weeks ago. She missed her brother. The one that would 'Kufufufu' at her in the mornings like a special alarm clock. The one that fashioned both their hair into pineapple styles. The one that managed to steal them primary school uniforms as clothes_. Nagi wanted to contact her brother so badly._

Chrome awoke with a start and saw her brother. She instinctively clutched the drowsy Mukuro.

"Kufufufu… What is it Chrome-chan?" Mukuro asked.

"Mu-Mukuro-nii… I-I had a nightmare… about the experiments…the Estraneo…Mukuro-nii…I want to find Ken and Chikusa so badly…" Chrome sobbed out. It was about five in the morning and everyone else was still asleep.

Mukuro patted his sister's head. "It's alright Chrome-chan. We'll find your friends soon."

Chrome nodded and closed her only eye. They would be starting that Special Instruction class that Father told them about. It didn't sound like a nice place.

_Flashback to last night:_

_Daemon Spade sat both of his kids down and looked at them sadly._

_Chrome-chan. Innocent, has seen the darkest side of the Mafia and went through it while keeping herself whole and didn't break. She lost her organs, her eye, and many smiles that wouldn't be returned to her._

_Mukuro-kun. Although somewhat mischievous and sneaky, he would do whatever he could do that was in (and sometimes out of) his power in order to protect what he believes in and would have taken Chrome-chan's place in Estraneo just for the sake of keeping Chrome safe._

_Daemon frowned as he thought of all the delinquents that were in the Special Instructions class. Daemon was sent into that class for a week as punishment along with Skylark the first when they destroyed the West Wing of the school while they were fighting. It was easy to say that it was the worst week that he had to encounter._

_The class smelt like the rotten streets of a New York ghetto; like blood and piss. Students were ruthless and cruel. If not for the fact that Daemon and Alaude had a reputation for torture, they would've been eaten alive. But Mukuro and Chrome were a different story._

_Mukuro had Six Paths of Reincarnation and could use the fourth realm to conquer the physical disability of illusionists, but his weakness was if Chrome-chan was to be injured. Chrome-chan is a great illusionist and she was skilled with attacking with her trident, however, if Mukuro was taken down, her illusionary organs might not function as well._

"_Mukuro-kun. Chrome-chan. I promise that if anything happens, I don't care how much head trauma I will have to go through, I will get you two out of that class." Daemon choked out while hugging the two. Both Mukuro and Chrome looked mildly surprised. They knew then that the Special Instruction Class wouldn't be easy to survive through._

**Three hours later…**

The pristine, calm, and good looking Vongola Primo drowsily opened his eyes and stared at the blinking clock.

7:27:57

7:27:58

7:27:59

7:28:00

"Oh, the kids are going to be late for school." Giotto mumbled as he fell into the comforts of his pillow once more.

Giotto shot up. Stared at the clock again. Rubbed his eyes. Stared some more.

7:28:13

"**CRAP! G, THE KIDS ARE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!**" Giotto howled out, jumping from his bed in a pair of boxers and a wife beater and pulling on black dress pants and a white button up.

In the room next door, G awoke to his best friend's screaming in a classic Vongola fashion.

"WHAT THE CRAP! URI GET OFF OF ME DAMMIT!"

"_MREOW!"_

"FUCKING PUSSCUNT!" G yelled out, revealing to Giotto that Uri has once again, snuck into G's bed and choked his right hand man with her tail. Again. And G made up a new curse too.

"EVERYBODY GET UP OR THE KIDS WILL BE LATE!" Giotto shouted out. Sounds of his Guardians falling out of their beds and cursing before scrambling to get ready greeted him.

Within the amazing time of thirty seconds, the Guardians managed to get dressed, pick the kids up and run into the car with plates of pancakes in their hands.

"Uhn… old man, is the mansion under siege from enemy Mafia again?" Hayato mumbled out in his tired daze while the adults hurried to get their kids ready for school. G ignored his son and focused on shoving a croissant down Hayato's throat.

"Giotto, how much time left?" Asari asked. Giotto hurriedly looked at this pocket watch.

7:29:04

"We have fifty six seconds." Giotto said dismayed. "We're never going to make it."

"Oh really? Watch this." G said before adopting an insane, homicidal aura, picking up his gun and pressing it to the driver's head. "Either you drive like hell or we play a game of Russian roulette."

That driver managed to defeat the laws of time and space with such skill that Dialga and Palkia both cursed him out in their own Pokémon universe.

In the same Pokémon universe a certain Eevee flinched. Her Shinx friend blinked.

"What's wrong Tenshi?"

"Nothing Fulmine. Let's just find that damn Blowback Orb and get this mission over with."

*A/N: Sorry, I just had to add that one. I was searching for a damned Blowback Orb for about twenty minutes after checking my Mission Objectives and finding out that the Blowback Orb was on the _next fucking floor_. It was the Radar Orb that I had to find. Pissed me off so effin' much. And yes, I did in fact get my partner, Shinx's, name from KHR and I have no regrets.*

The Vongola Guardians managed to get to the front of the Mafia Preschool at the miraculous time of 7:29:52.

"Ugh. Damn, I didn't think you would go that fast. I had the freaking thing on _safety_ dammit." G muttered out before all but kicking Hayato through the door.

Reborn clicked his tongue upon seeing the Primo Guardians and their kids.

"You lot made it in with five seconds to spare. Not impressing considering your guys' title, but you guys aren't late so I'm afraid I can't reprimand you for it." Reborn sighed out. "And you guys better get to the Special Instruction Class."

Dino gulped and dragged the young preschoolers to the other wing of the school while muttering advice.

"Don't die. Don't talk to anyone who says that they've been to a place called Vendicare. Don't die. Don't piss the teacher off. And most importantly, don't die." Dino told the group, almost in tears when the group reached the door. Screams were already coming from the inside.

Chrome's eyes widened at a certain yell of "Give me back my candy, Kakipi!" and nearly flew inside the room.

Tsuna paled. Chrome-nee was actually going _inside_ that hell hole?

All commotion stopped in the room when Pineapple the Third opened the door. It felt like time itself stopped… Wait…

Dammit, Dialga, stay in your own freaking dimension and leave time here alone!

The classmates were of all different ages. A lot, No, all of them looked like thugs.

"Ken, Chikusa?" Chrome asked, indicating two boys in the corner, one who was holding a lollipop away from the other, who was holding a pencil case threateningly. Both dropped what they were holding upon seeing the eye patch wearing girl.

"Nagi?" "Stupid girl?" The two asked simultaneously before completely disregarding the desks and students in their path and making it towards their friend who was nearly in tears.

"Nagi, is that really you? We couldn't find you after the experiments so we thought their experiment… Did you in…"

Chrome shook her head. "No, I'm fine Chikusa."

"Tch, if you were fine then you should've looked for us, byon!" Ken snarled out in an almost pouting manner.

"Ken's just upset because he's been looking for you all over but he couldn't find you no matter how hard he tried." Chikusa said plainly. Ken turned red before growling at Chikusa.

"U-Uruhei! As if you weren't doing the same thing, Kakipi!" (Note: Ken can't say 'urusai' properly because of his fangs)

"Ken, I'm getting mad."

Chrome giggled at her two friends. They really didn't change at all.

Both former experiments flinched upon sensing a killing intent emitting behind Chrome. They looked over her to see a glaring older brother.

"Kufufufu. Chrome-chan, who are these two?" Mukuro asked, pointing his trident at them. "Should I hurt them?"

Ken stuttered incoherent nonsense and Chikusa gulped.

"N-no, Mukuro-nii, this is Ken and Chikusa, the friends I've been trying to find!" Chrome protested.

Mukuro's aura immediately changed from killing to welcoming.

"Oya, oya. Really? Why didn't you say so?" Mukuro _purred_ out. "Thank you for being with Chrome-chan at that hard time. I'm Mukuro Spade, Chrome-chan's brother."

A dull clapping received everybody's attention. Everybody's eyes followed the noise to see a smiling white-haired man.

"How nice. Friends are reuniting. Now I'm your substitute for today, Student Advisor Byakuran. It seems that the normal teacher is busy getting replaced by a certain Arcobaleno in the form of carnage. Please introduce yourselves." Byakuran said with a smile that sent shivers up everyone's spines.

*A/N: I have read too many effing fanfics with Byakuran as the cruel, evil and psychotic villain, so Byakuran and the rest of the Funeral Wreaths are in the Mafia Education Program but the entire program is in alliance with the Vongola, Shimon, Chiavarone, etc., Famiglias. In this fic, all the staff of the Education Program are the villains.*

After introducing themselves, the preschoolers flinched upon seeing the glares that the others in the class gave them upon hearing their Famiglias.

"Tch, _that _brat is the next boss of the Vongola?"

"No way, that kid couldn't even make it into that shitty Bovino Famiglia, much less the Vongola."

"I bet that kid's balls won't ever drop."

Tsuna flinched from the insults and Hayato took out a handful of dynamite.

"FUCKERS! I DARE YOU TO TALK ABOUT THE JUUDAIME AGAIN!" Hayato shouted out as Tsuna held Hayato's arm in an attempt to stop him from lighting the explosives.

"Hayato-nii, please don't, you'll burn down the school and then Auntie Luche will be mad at Papa and Uncle G!" Tsuna cried out.

The students all froze upon seeing the fluffy brunette with big, brown eyes with slight tears pouting with just an ever-so-slightly tilt of the head. At this point, the same people who were just insulting him were trying not to get a nosebleed over him.

Congratulations, Tsunayoshi. You now have the power to turn a straight man gay.

"H-Hai, Juudaime!" Hayato said, shoving the dynamites into his pocket.

The door opened slightly and two red-heads popped through sheepishly.

"Y-Yo, Byakuran… Erm, do an old pal a favor and let this one slip, please…" Cozart pleaded the white haired substitute who merely smiled.

"Well only if you do me a favor and meet me tonight, Cozart-kun~" Byakuran sang out to the paling boss and to the dismay of the older students.

Enma looked up from behind his father cautiously. Tsuna immediately brightened and ran to Enma.

"Enma-chan!" Tsuna cried out happily.

"Ah, Tsuna-chan." Enma said back with a smile.

"Come on Enma-chan." Tsuna told the future boss before taking his hand, leading him around his father and to the class.

Two little shota ukes holding hands in front of a room of tough, brutal, Mafia members that were recently turned gay. Cue nosebleed.

Byakuran smiled at the class. "You may go to the restroom."

Twenty-three of the fifty-seven students left the room due to the vast flow of blood from the nose. They were all male and at least the age of thirteen.

Cozart was now very reluctant to allow his son in the room of Mafioso who could easily rape him.

Byakuran gave a smile to Cozart, and as if reading his mind, said "How about I let this go if you allow Enma-chan to stay in the class?"

Cozart contemplated it for the moment. Enma had his flames, so he should be fine, right?

The man nodded and left the room with a pat on Enma's head.

As soon as he was sure that the Shimon boss was out of hearing range, Byakuran smiled at the class with a sadistic yet charming smile and said "Independent assassins and opposing Famiglias will battle the Vongola and allies in five minutes."

Tsuna, Enma and Dino all paled as the other team huddled at the other end of the room.

"Yo, future Vongola." A voice called out, revealing two boys walking up to them. Maybe fourth years, possibly fifth. "I'm Spanner and this is Shouichi. Our parents are part of the Vongola, so I guess we are too."

Tsuna blinked at the two before smiling with a warm "Nice to meet you."

"Tch! What can these guys do for the Juudaime?" Hayato asked in an irritated fashion.

"I can do this." Spanner said, biting his lollipop to hold it in place and digging a remote control from his pocket. "Gola Mosca."

"Gola Mosca?" The confused preschoolers asked with tilted heads.

With that said a towering figure shadowed over the group.

Slowly, both Enma and Tsuna turned to look at what was behind them.

"Hiiiieeeee!" "Gyaaaaa!" Tsuna and Enma cried out upon turning around to face a giant robotic weapon.

"That's Gola Mosca. I got in this class after one of my prototypes went hijack and paralyzed a couple students." Spanner explained. "The Gola Mosca you see now is just an old version though, and I'll be able to upgrade it in time to a newer, more modern design."

Takeshi looked at Spanner "Hahaha, why don't you just use the weapons inside Gola Mosca?"

Spanner shrugged. "It's just I can't hurt people in real life. Hurting people in real life is a problem. However, I have no problem hurting people when it's behind a screen."

"Y-You shouldn't do either!" Tsuna cried out indignantly. Spanner pointedly ignored him and got to work on adding missiles and metal plating to the Mosca.

"Hmm… Should I add the flame-seeking bullets or the heat seeking missiles…? Eh, I'll use both." Spanner muttered, juggling around wrenches, gunpowder, hammers, screws, machine guns, etc.

Hayato looked at Shouichi. "And what can you do?"

The red haired boy immediately crumpled to the floor under the silverette's heated gaze.

"Sh-Shouichi-san, what's wrong?" Tsuna cried out, reaching for the boy that was clenching his stomach.

Spanner looked over, as monotonous as ever. "Ah, Shouichi has a weak stomach. Whenever he gets nervous, he gets serious stomach cramps. If it wasn't for the fact that he was such a great strategist, he would be completely useless."

"S-Spanner!" Shouichi defended. Spanner shrugged while jamming a hidden blade mechanism fitted with a machete into the Mosca's back.

"THAT'S LAME TO THE EXTREME!"

"If you don't shut up, I'll bite you to death."

"W-Wait Kyoya! Save the biting for the opposing Famiglias and assassins!"

By some magical miracle, Kyoya grumbled yet complied.

"Shouichi, you better tell the future Vongola a plan or we might not win and get killed this time." Spanner pointed out to his bespectacled friend, who gulped and nodded.

"H-Hai, Spanner."

"Kufufufu, so tell us Irie, what's the plan?"

"Yeah, byon! Unless you don't have a plan at all!" Ken accused.

"Ken, plans don't come out of thin air. If they did, we would have died by now." Chikusa pointed out to his fanged friend.

"Shut up, Four-Eyes!"

"Ken, Chikusa, please don't fight…" Chrome said, trying to calm her friends down.

"Chrome-chan, I believe that it would be best to leave them to their argument." Mukuro said, moving his sister away from the line of fire.

"So, Shouichi, the plan?" Tsuna asked.

"Well, we should start by seeing who's on the opposing team, finding their weak points and distributing their weaknesses to an ideal battle, and distributing them to an ideal battle opponent." Shouichi said, looking over to the opposing team and paling. "And we don't have good odds either."

"And why do you say that?" Chikusa asked.

"Because we're up against the Strongest Teen in Northern Italy" Shouichi said while gulping at the thought of going up against the eighth year.

A/N: I know. Sucky way to end. I apologize. I hope you like the one-shot. Also, check my poll so I can decide whether to type up another story or not.


	6. Chapter 5: Special Instruction Battle!

*Does EXTREME happy dance!* Kufufu no fu~ Kufufu no fu~ Kufufu no fu~

Hayato:… Is she an alien?...

Shouichi: Er, no. She just has this weird habit of doing that when she's happy…

Mukuro: *Hands me pineapple maracas and joins in* Kufufu no fu~

Spanner: … I think we should continue the chapter…

Enma: I agree…

Tsuna: Reality doesn't own KHR

Note: I would like to thank TheParadoxicalOtaku for the idea that was given to me!

Also, I can't believe that I'm not dead!

The Special Instruction Battle, Vongola Style!

"The strongest teen in Northern Italy?" Tsuna asked, looking over to the teen Shouichi was referring to. Tsuna looked at the eighth year curiously. "Ano… Hayato-nii, isn't that Lancia-nii? The one who babysat us before?"

Hayato jolted from his spot where he was adjusting his dynamite to see the spiky haired teen, who was napping at the moment. "Y-You're right, Juudaime!"

Tsuna nodded, "Papa said that Papa and Lancia-nii's boss had a meeting together and he watched us. Afterwards, he became an independent assassin. Lancia-nii still has ties to his Famiglia, but they aren't allied to or against the Vongola, so there's no reason for him to not be on the other side, I guess…"

Enma nodded.

"Well, let's just show Lancia how much we improved, Juudaime!" Hayato suggested, adjusting his new, experiment dynamites. "Oi Spanner, hand me some of that hydrofluoric acid; I want to try something."

Spanner tossed the plastic bottle at the bomber, who caught it before looking over information on the bottle and running theories over his head.

"Ah, Hayato-nii, want to try that thing that Papa and Uncle G showed us?" Tsuna asked, referring to the Storm-Sky Combo they were shown. Hayato nodded.

"Of course, Juudaime!"

"Right now, I guess that we should come up with our own strategies too…" Enma concluded. The group nodded and went to work.

Three minutes later

"You may begin." Byakuran told the class before leaving the room.

Tsuna and Enma turned to the opposing group and gave a slight smile with sparkles, flowers, and shojo bubbles coming to life, surrounding the two ukes.

The front line of the enemy was immediately annihilated from the overdose of moe.

'_I-I didn't actually think that would work…' _Enma and Tsuna both thought nervously. When Spanner told them to not activate their flames and just smile cutely, they thought that they were going to die. They would have to thank the inventor later.

Tsuna pushed Enma out of the way as a large steel ball came crashing into the spot that the red head was standing at.

"You got better, Tsuna," A voice said "I remember when you only let me call you Tsu-chan and asked for an extra chocolate chip cookie in exchange for a kiss on the cheek and had me read you 'The Three Little Pigs' before your naps."

Tsuna blushed in realization of how much the independent assassin knew about him.

Lancia jumped backwards to dodge several Storm Arrows.

"Ah, Hayato, you're here too." Lancia stated, "I remember how hard I laughed from seeing you piss your old man off so much. It was hilarious. I even remember how you loved to listen to old myths and legends and UMAs like the _kamaitachi_ and the _tsuchinoko _and you told me so much about them. I thought it was impressive for a four-year-old kid to know that much about anything, Haya-_chan~_."

Hayato cussed and threw more bombs which Lancia deflected with a smirk.

"Both of you have improved. Show the 'Strongest Teen in Northern Italy' how much you've improved since we last sparred." Lancia challenged.

"Hai, Lancia-nii!"

"I'll show you Lancia!"

Lancia smiled.

The three were interrupted as more independent assassins and opposing Mafia attacked them.

Tsuna tripped over thin air and Enma ran over, neither of them in HDWM. "Ah, Tsuna-chan!"

Tsuna's eyes had slight tears as he held himself up. "E-Enma-chan…?"

Tsuna hiccupped and jumped up to Enma for a hug. The redhead stumbled back, yet complied nonetheless.

All the students stopped in their tracks; the males to stem the vast amount of blood from the nose and the females to imagine all of the female outfits and uniforms that they could fit onto the two boys.

Not even five seconds later, they were crudely and effectively beaten by a vast amount of weaponry and flames. Thank Spanner for that new Gola Moska.

Time to epically break the fourth wall in a way that only two kawaii and universal uke Decimo bosses can.

The two innocent Decimo bosses stared at the next wave of students cutely, still hugging each other and on the floor.

All the students were promptly knocked unconscious due to cuteness overload.

All except one.

"Ah, Lancia-sempai, if you don't mind me asking, how come you aren't affected by Tsuna or Enma?" Spanner asked, as the others attacked the distracted enemies that were currently fantasizing about the future bosses with the total brutality of enraged Vongola Members, getting ready to protect Tsuna.

"I took care of Tsuna when I was ten. Getting all hyped for your brother-figure isn't my style. And Enma would come over sometimes, so same for him. It's just… not my style to go for a little bro of mine like that." Lancia told the curious blonde, who shrugged.

"Ah, I get you, sempai."

Lancia jumped back and threw his steel ball in the direction of Tsuna and Enma. Tsuna instinctively went into HDWM and used his flames to repel the ball before releasing Nuts.

"Let's go, Nuts!"

"Gao!"

"Violent Snake Fierce Domination!" Lancia called out, hitting his weapon and sending it flying towards Tsuna, who flew upwards.

Nuts snapped his head in the direction of the weapon and roared while emitting Sky Flames.

"Ruggito di Cielo."

"Flame Arrow!" Hayato cried out, shooting the weapon into bits. Lancia let go of the chain and cracked his knuckles.

"Nice one, you two. But remember. My true strength lies in my martial arts!" Lancia reminded the two.

'_C-Crap, I forgot!' _The two five year olds thought simultaneously. (A/N: Seriously, who else here totally forgot that Lancia could kick total ass with martial arts until they watched the episode again?)

"Extreme fight!" Ryohei yelled out, swinging into the fight once he saw Lancia make a fist. The boxer was like flies to horse shit when it came to fist fights.

Lancia smirked. "By the looks of this little fella, I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that he's Knuckle's kid."

Enma sweatdropped and nodded.

"Alright then, let's see how good the future guardians and boss of the Vongola Famiglia are." Lancia said, gearing up for a fig—

"BRING BRING BRIIIIIIIIIIIING!" Byakuran shouted upon walking into the room, smiling like Daemon when he knew he had the upper hand. "Sorry, but looks like the time is way, WAY up! It's already time for lunch!"

Lancia looked at Tsuna, how looked back at him. Both shrugged.

"Ah, Vongola, before we eat, how about we scrape those guys off the floor?" Spanner suggested, jabbing his thumb over to the smoking mass of bodies that the group went up against.

Tsuna smiled sheepishly. "Hayato-nii and the rest went all out, didn't they?"

Hayato beamed and gave a smile. "Hai, sure did, Juudaime!"

"Ano? Where's Kyoya-nii?" Tsuna asked, looking around for the skylark.

"Ah, Kyoya left in the middle- something about hating crowding or something of that matter. I bet he's in the cafeteria." Dino supplied.

"Come on, stupid girl, let's go eat, I'm starved, byon!" Ken growled.

"Ken, all you can think about is food."

"Ah, Ken, Chikusa, I'm coming." Chrome told the two, following with her brother on her trail.

**Alright, I'm going to end the chapter right here and continue on with the rest of the plot, which I have planned, and I am SO fucking PISSED OFF and my Spanish teacher. You make us learn the freaking weather vocab, give us a test three days later, expect us to pass, and give us a project about it due on Monday.**

**You are a freaking bitch. I don't got anything against Spanish, it's you. Hate the player, not the game.**

**Anyway, I also have this idea floating around in my head, but I swear to myself to not type it unless I got everything planned out! I don't want it to end up like this when I'm on a forever fucking break trying to type up shit.**


	7. Chapter 6: Meeting the CEDEF!

I'm So SOOOOOO SORRY about being a total ass about the lame and short last chapter! I swear that this one will be better!

Luche: *Giggles* Sure it will, Reality, sure it will. The day you own KHR will be on that day.

…

Screw this! On to the story!

Meeting the CEDEF?

Dinner.

That was it. A dinner. That was all it was supposed to be. All that was needed was food on the plates. There and done. Some harmless chit chat would also be nice too.

But of course, there is some sick lord up there in heaven that denies the Vongola Famiglia this necessity for his own sick pleasure.

I'm talking to you up there, do you hear me?

These were Tsuna's thoughts as he gripped him father's hand like a lifeline and stared at the dinner table in complete awe.

"It makes me wonder just how in hell you managed to do this in the thirty seconds it would take to get to this room." Giotto said while pressing his fingers into his forehead.

Because there, in that dining room—that poor, poor dining room—the amount of damage had absolutely nothing on Nami Chuu during the Half Rings Battle Arc.

Giotto stared at the damage. No, that wasn't right. He analyzed it. Every single freaking euro it would take to repair this mess of a room. More destruction meant repairs. Repairs meant money. Money meant paperwork. Paperwork meant hours of being stuck in that unforgiving office. This meant a tired and irritable Giotto.

Squalo glared at Giotto from his spot where his sword (which was attached to his fake hand, mind you) was stuck in the table and an energetic Takeshi was playing in his hair happily.

"VOOIII! Aren't you going to help m—VOOIII, you fucking brat! That hurt like a bitch, dammit!" Squalo yelled, only to stop and glare at Takeshi, who accidentally tugged on Squalo's hair sharply.

"Whoops. Sorry Squalo-nii!"

"You better be sorry, you damn brat!"

"Hahaha, Squalo, you and Takeshi get along well, what do you think about babysitting him?" Asari asked. Squalo glared.

"Hell to the fucking no!"

"Ushishishi, the prince likes to play throwing knives with this one," Bel said, holding up a struggling Hayato, "Can I babysit him too? You should be honored that a prince is asking."

G glared and cocked his pistol back.

"G calm down, no need to be rash!" Giotto cried out, trying to save the dining room from being more destroyed than it already was and held G back from showing Bel the wrath of a pissed off Vongola Storm Guardian.

"Oi! Giotto! Let me go! I _**will**_ murder this guy!" G howled out, in one of his rare protective father moments.

"Everybody! I need you all to behave! Today, the head of the CEDEF is visiting us with his son!" Giotto announced.

His words were met with silence.

"What. The. Fuck. Are. You Saying." G stared at Giotto in complete awe. "How could you not tell me, your right motherfucking hand man that Sawada Iemitsu, the alcohol-loving, joking, and carefree leader of the CEDEF is coming? You should've warned us in advance! By at least a day!"

Giotto shrugged innocently. "I thought it would be nice to surprise you guys…"

G promptly attempted to shove a barrel down his throat. "What the hell Giotto?"

Giotto got tears in his eyes. "G! Why are you so cruel to me?~"

G twitched. "You know what… Do what you want. I don't even care anymore." G muttered, popping an aspirin in his mouth and lying down.

"Guess I'll call in Talbot to get in here and help with this job." Giotto muttered, grabbing a cell.

Thirty Minutes Later:

Talbot collapsed on the couch, almost coughing up blood. "I wonder if I should retire soon…"

"Talbot! That was EXTREMELY great! God praises you!" Knuckles shouted out.

"I feel like you guys are out to kill me…" The technician muttered.

"Talbot, is that you? I haven't seen you in a while!" A voice called out, revealing Sawada Iemitsu. Giotto smiled at the CEDEF head.

Alaude looked at his predecessor. "I hope that the CEDEF is in good care."

"Of course, boss."

"Ah! Thou must be the creator of the CEDEF! It is my greatest honor to meet thou!" A boy with sandy blonde hair cried out, poking his head out from behind his father.

…

…

…

"Erm, Iemitsu, why is your son…?"

"Ah, well I was off on a trip with Nana once and left him with his grandpa. The turn-out wasn't so good." Iemitsu sulked. "I've tried everything. Even intensive speech therapy had no effect. The therapists all just ran out of the office screaming 'I quit and you're funding for my retirement and medication!'"

"Ah right…" Giotto twitched. "Ah Tsuna, meet Basil, he's going to be your future Outside Advisor."

"Ah, hi Basil-kun."

"It is my greatest pleasure to meet thou, Tsuna-dono!"

"Yo! I'm Takeshi!"

"Hayato."

"I'm Ryohei to the Extreme!"

"My name is Kyoya."

"Kufufufu, I'm Mukuro…"

"Hi, I'm Chrome."

"Nice to meet you all." Basil said, turning and flinching when he caught the eye of a certain Varia member. "S-Squalo-san?"

"VOOOIII! It's you, you fucking little shit!" Squalo howled out, running towards the herb with his sword swinging.

"Uwah!" Basil yelped out, taking out a boomerang like object and gulping down two pills.

A blue rain flame emitted from Basil's head.

Giotto looked at Iemitsu. "I can understand the HDWM but why doesn't he have a sky flame?"

Iemitsu sighed. "It seems that Nana has some dormant Rain Flames. They passed on to Basil; however, he doesn't show signs of inheriting my Sky Flames."

Giotto nodded. "But why does Squalo want to kill him?"

"Let's just say that they had a bad start when I brought Basil to the Varia HQ."

"How bad of a start?" G asked, watching as the impressive five-year-old fought against the Sword Emperor.

"Erm… Just as bad as when Alaude and Daemon met." Iemitsu admitted sheepishly.

…

"And you waited **this long** to separate them!" G shouted out, running over and kicking Squalo's fake hand off (sword and all) to stop him from landing a fatal blow on the son of the CEDEF.

"VOOOIIII! What the hell, Pinkie?"

"Who the hell are you calling Pinkie, brat?"

"Hey Trash! Take care of your own appendages!" Xanxus shouted before throwing Squalo's severed hand.

"Ushishishi, let's play Monkey in the Middle! Taicho's the monkey!" Bel shouted, catching the hand and tossing it to Levi, almost slicing off his head in the process with Squalo's sword.

"VOOIIII! Fuckers! Give that back!"

Giotto, Vongola Primo; cool, calm, and collected, slammed his head on the table and moaned out. "All of the paperwork…"

Tsuna, obedient little son, caught Primo's escaping spirit and put it back into the body that was once his father. "Papa, papa! Don't die yet! We haven't had desert!"

Oh yes. The Vongola Famiglia. At dinner. With the Outside Advisor and his son who a certain shark hates.

Cue the explosion.

"Hiiiieeeee! Xanxus-nii, please don't shoot Squalo-nii!"

"Gah! Baseball freak, get away from Uri!"

"Who the hell let out the Box Animals? What the—Oh god, Bester, _**no don't!**_"

"Ushishishi, Mink, want to practice Fiamma Scarletta?"

"Don't you freaking _dare_, you fake prince!"

"Ushishishi, a prince does what he wants."

"VOOIIIII! Give me back my hand, Levi!"

"It's stuck in my lip ring!"

"Sawada-dono! Look out; a feral beast is on thee!"

"HIIIEEEEEE! Xanxus-nii, please call Bester off!"

"Nufufufu, Mukuro, care to help me clear these eyesores?"

"EXTREME FIGHT!"

"Yare, Yare you shouldn't encourage them, Ryohei-kun."

Omake:

Alaude and Hibari both sat in their shared room for the night (as Hibari's room was being destroyed in the madness) and slurped up their take out Chinese food.

"Hn." _It was a good thing you had this ready._

"Hn." _You learn to order take out before hand and escape after the first five minutes after dealing with Giotto for so long._

"Hn." _I'll remember that._

"Hn." _Good, Kyoya._


	8. Chapter 7: Basil's First Day

Here be Chapter 7!

Basil: Reality dost not own KHR!

Basil's First Day in Special Instruction

"Basil, have a nice day in class, alright!" Iemitsu told his son.

Basil tilted his head. "Father, why is Tsuna-dono not here today?"

Iemitsu sweatdropped. "Um, it seems that Tsuna, Hayato, Takeshi, Mukuro, Chrome, Kyoya, and Ryohei are all sick after eating the breakfast that Hayato's sister, Bianchi sent to them."

"…Sawada-dono ate food from the _Poison Scorpion_?..." Basil asked.

"They… Didn't want to hurt her feelings…" Iemitsu shivered.

This just showed Basil how caring Tsuna-dono was to his Famiglia. To willingly eat the cooking of the Poison Scorpion…

You must be either crazy or just plain stupid.

Or Family. Because Families will do that to you.

"Ciaossu, Iemitsu." A voice said. Iemitsu looked up to see Reborn. "Would you like me to escort you two to the Special Instruction Class? I already got recommendations to admit Basil in from a certain Varia Rain Officer."

Iemitsu nodded as the hitman led the two over.

"Oh, and Iemitsu, be prepared to hold a funeral at any given time if Basil gets hurt."

The Head of the CEDEF, the Outside Advisor, and the man with Vongola blood running through his veins, Sawada Iemitsu, tripped and faceplanted.

"Father?" Basil asked, poking his dad's pale white cheek.

"I'm fine…" Iemitsu groaned out, opening the door to the Special Instruction Class.

Basil smiled innocently at the glaring students of the Special Instruction Class. "Ohayo! It is nice to meet thou!"

Do you remember what happened to the male students all above the age of thirteen when Tsuna and Enma held hands? They all had to leave due to vast amount of blood secretion through the nose.

Sandy hair, big blue eyes, a perfect white smile and a cute, outdated speech to match.

However, due to only being a single person, only twelve of the fifty seven students left due to nosebleeds.

Oh well, it still, however, was an impressive feat for a young uke.

Iemitsu nearly jumped at the sight of Lancia, who was reading a book. "Lancia-kun! Is that you?"

"Ah, hey Iemitsu. I haven't seen you since both our Famiglias had a poker match against each other." Lancia said. "You still owe me a hundred fifty."

Iemitsu paled. Then brightened immediately, dug through his wallet and dug out his entire load of cash. "I'll give you all of this if you consider that debt done, tutor Basil about flames until he gets it, and protect him."

Lancia stared the cash in between the blonde's fingers. _**Hot damn**_, Outside Advisors got paid a **lot**.

"How much is that?" Lancia asked, practically drooling.

Iemitsu leaned over and whispered the magic number.

'_Holy!—I don't get his much for even five months' worth of assassination missions!'_ Lancia thought. "Meh, I can get that much in a month. If I can get that Porsche parked outside along with it, though…"

Iemitsu thrust the black keys in front of the teen with his other hand.

"Deal." Lancia said, pocketing both items. "But one question: why me?"

Iemitsu gestured towards the rest of the Special instruction class. Several students lay with their heads against their desks, noses dripping with blood.

"You're frankly the least likely to try and rape him."

"Ah." Lancia muttered.

"Also, something else," Iemitsu muttered, leaning over to the teen. "Are you asexual or what?"

Lancia shrugged. "Beats the hell out of me. I babysat when I was ten to Tsuna, Enma, Hayato, Mukuro, and Chrome. I'm not into kids that are still young enough to have sparkles around them and not be Alex Armstrong."

"Who?"

"Never mind."

Iemitsu shrugged and left, leaving Basil positively beaming at the assassin.

"It is my pleasure to meet thee!"

Lancia raised an eyebrow at the boy's strange speaking but nodded nonetheless. The sandy haired-boy was sending out beams of sparkles and innocence through his big, bright blue, eyes.

Behind him, Lancia heard several people gurgling through their nosebleeds. Lancia smacked his forehead and sighed.

The little brat-no, as of now, his little _student—_just blinked innocently like he wasn't the cause of several teens jerking off in the bathroom at the thought of slamming into him.

Lancia had _no freaking idea_ where to start tutoring the kid.

"Alright, Basil-chan, let's start with this." Lancia started, plucking a blue ring off of a seventh year occupied with a nosebleed and placing it on Basil's middle finger. "Focus on one thing. The reason you fight. The reason you want to protect. You may not get it first, but it'll come to you, just focus, alright."

"Hai, Lancia-dono." Basil said, focusing on the main reasons why he fought. His first thought was the Vongola, but soon after he corrected himself to something deeper than that.

He fought to assist his father. He fought to protect his mother from the mafia. He fought for family.

A blue light, bright and shining shot out of Basil's ring. Lancia whistled. "You sure are Iemitsu's son. Look at those flames go."

Basil watched the flames intrigued. They were just as blue as the boy's eyes. He held a finger on top of it, to see what would happen and was unpleasantly surprised when his entire hand went numb. Lancia chuckled lightly.

"Alright kid, I guess this experience will teach you that the Rain's attribute is tranquility." The teen muttered while ruffling the smiling brunette's hair.

The other students saw it differently, however.

They saw a smirking older teen ruffling the head of an oblivious young shota with a smile and eyes that could open and sparkle to 'take-my-virginity-in-the-bathroom-during-break' levels.

The other students were torn on whether to continue gurgling in their own blood or running over to stop Lancia but being ultimately beat up in the process.

They all opted for staying in their seats and creating an amount of lost blood from the nose that could make a vampire weep from joy.

"Alright, Basil, let's see your weapon." Lancia said.

Basil held out his Metal Edge weapon. Lancia's eye brow rose.

"A boomerang?"

Basil looked down sadly and sniffed. "All dost always think that… Thy's weapon is not a boomerang…"

Lancia smiled slightly and patted his head. "Erm, it's alright…"

Basil looked up shakily.

Approximately eight more students died of epic loss of blood through the nose.

But honestly, who wouldn't with big shaky blue eyes with slight tears in them, flushed cheeks, and a cute little pout that could make Byakuran bow at his feet.

Lancia blushed slightly, but that was the most reaction that anyone has gotten out of him since…ever. "Say, that's alright kid… Anyway, as long as it's a good weapon, it doesn't matter how it looks to people. I'm going to take a look at this and give the schematics to someone I know. They're going to remake the weapon with material that can transfer Dying Will Flames."

Basil nodded while sniffing once more. "N-Not a b-boomerang…"

Lancia pat him on the head. "I know, kid. I know."

The male students gurgled through the fountains of blood. The door opened and a hitman walked in.

"All right, now let's start—what the crap happened here?" Reborn said upon seeing the state of half the class.

Lancia merely held Basil up by the back of his shirt and the boy laughed cheerily. "Hehe, higher Lancia-dono!~"

Reborn sweatdropped. He was so freaking sure that all of the nosebleed-inducing boys were out for the day. Dammit.

Reborn then had to slap the living daylights out the unconscious students with the back of his gun.

He resolved that once all the freaking brats graduated, he was never going to teach underage boys that switch a man's sexuality with a single look. He was sick of cleaning up the blood.


	9. Chapter 8: Lampo's Worst Mission Yet

I love vacations. Vacations=New Chapters so I'm sure you guys like them too.

Here we go…

Lampo's Worst Mission Yet

Lampo would not lie. He detested most of his missions with a fiery passion.

Of course, expressing this hatred would result in effort, so he chose to express it in lazy complaints.

But this… This mission was just plain cruel of Giotto.

He had to protect the heiress of the Bovino Famiglia. This would not be much of a problem except for several points.

-The girl was as flirtatious as a prostitute on ecstasy.

-He had to ensure that she was a virgin until she got married.

-The mission lasts for six months.

Lampo, tired, exhausted, and still slightly aroused, finally returned to the Vongola Mansion.

Two weeks of the normal routine of playing video games with the kids and dodging G's bullets, the Vongola received a phone call.

"Uh, hello?" Giotto asked into the phone.

"Is this you, Giotto?" A familiar voice asked.

"Ah, Frederic, what can we do for you? Is the Bovino having any problems?"

"Ah, if you bring Lampo into the room and put it on speaker, I'll be happy to explain."

"Erm, alright." Giotto complied, calling Lampo in from the hall. "He's here."

"Alright," The voice took a deep breath. "**You damn BASTARD!**"

"Yare, yare, Giotto, is another man yelling at you because his wife left him because of you again?" Lampo asked through a yawn.

Giotto flicked his forehead.

"Lampo, this is Frederic of the Bovino Famiglia and I just want to say, when I get my hands on you, you are going to be crying for mercy!"

"Eh, wh-what?"

A new voice joined the conversation. "Papa, it's not his fault, I'm the one who put aphrodisiac in his water—"

"What the hell?" Lampo squeaked out. "What's going on?"

"You got my daughter **pregnant** you worthless two bit piece of shit hack!" Frederic growled out. "You were supposed to be protecting her, dammit!"

Thump!

"…Giotto, what happened?" Frederic asked.

"Erm… Lampo fainted." Giotto said sheepishly.

"I'll be over in three hours to ensure that Lampo takes responsibility, and—Lyrathine Elizabeth Mariana Bovino, don't you dare cut that cord—"

Giotto merely blinked as the line went dead, picked up a cup of sake and threw it back before pouring a good amount on Lampo's unconscious body to wake the teen up.

"G-Gah! What the hell, Gio—" Lampo froze.

Primo looked absolutely pissed.

"You got the _principessa_ of the **Bovino Famiglia** pregnant?" Giotto snapped out. "This… I don't even want to elaborate on this… Without the Bovino's firearms, we're going to have to rely completely on _Fiamma _and some of our low-rank members don't have that kind of capability… Frederic is going to be here in three hours and—don't you dare book that flight." Giotto said, aiming a gloved hand at Lampo's cellphone which he was holding.

"Then let me borrow the car or something—"

Giotto interrupted him with a raised hand and pointed the other at his desk.

It was impossible to tell what color the desk was through all the mountains of paperwork.

"I have my own problems, Lampo." Giotto said, tiredly. "And this pregnancy… We're going to have to need more paperwork for bills that are used for baby supplies, hush money for doctors, extra protection, and there will not be airplane or gas bills added to that list trying to avoid taking responsibility."

"G-Giotto—"

"What?" Giotto snapped out, turning to face his guardian and being mildly surprised.

His lightning guardian was _crying_.

"I-I'm _scared_. I don't know how to raise a kid—hell, I can't even watch the kids outside the mansion without them being kidnapped. I-I'm only going to get this kid killed and I haven't even met the brat yet… "

Giotto felt guilt like a punch to the gut and tackled Lampo. "LAMPO!~"

"E-Eh?"

"You're growing up~ I feel so proud of you!" Giotto cried out. "I'm sorry I was so rough!"

"Er, it's all right Giotto-nii…"

Tsuna watched the entire scene through the cracked door and wondered one thing.

What was an aphrodisiac?

Three Hours Later:

Giotto and Lyra, a pretty girl with long brunette hair in a loose ponytail and green eyes, sat at a table sipping tea and watching as Frederic went Sparta on Lampo.

"Ah, that's the new gunpowder that the Bovino Famiglia is working on right?" Giotto asked.

"Yeah. It's supposed to be laced with this kind of natural substance that's supposed to slow down the target if it doesn't kill it first by attacking the nasal cavity." Lyra explained with a sigh.

"Meaning?"

"If it doesn't kill you, it'll slow you down because it causes excessive sneezing and making the next shots easier to hit." Lyra explained.

Giotto nodded. "You know, this might actually be a good thing; Lampo will take responsibility and at the same time, Frederic is demonstrating the Bovino's new firearms."

Lyra thought about it and nodded. "Yeah. I guess."

Giotto looked over at the girl. "But do you **want** Lampo to take responsibility?"

"Huh?"

"Lampo told me—don't take offense to this—that you flirted often."

Lyra shrugged and thought about it. "The thing is though that although I flirt, I really do want a kid. A husband to help raise it… It would just make it better."

Giotto smiled. "Lampo actually told me that he was scared of having this kid because he wasn't sure that he could take care of it."

Lyra looked surprised at this, but smiled and took a sip of oolong.

"…Ah, that's the Bovino's new grenade right?"

"Yup. That one causes extreme itching along with skin irritation and the regular effects of a grenade."

"…But there's no explosion."

"That's because I removed all the gunpowder while dad wasn't looking on our way here." Lyra explained.

Giotto smiled.

Lampo, of all people, had the best mother of their child out of any of the guardians.

(Elena technically doesn't count. Daemon didn't propose to her yet.


	10. Chapter 9: The Anniversary

Tsuna: Reality doesn't own us!

The Anniversary

The entire Vongola Famiglia was in a car. There were no explosions, arguing or fighting. Just silence.

Everybody sat in the car, hands in their laps. Even Bianchi was given a day off from her school to come. Hayato just sat there next to her, his face somber.

Tsuna reached over and grasped Hayato's hand comforting. Bianchi followed. Hayato allowed himself a small smile.

G was silent, looking out the window with white lilies in his hand. If one looked at his reflection, they would've seen tears running over his tattoo.

Giotto sat next to his best friend and put a hand on his shoulder. G bowed his head.

Hibari, Mukuro, and Chrome were seated next to each other. None made a move to fight.

This was a time of grieving. No fights unless you were getting ambushed. And in that case scenario, don't injure, _kill_.

Today was a weekday. This was a day the schools allowed them to miss. It was too important.

The car stopped right outside a graveyard and the entire group climbed out. All walked in between the isles of tombstones until they stopped in front of one.

Lavina Gokudera

19XX-20XX

Let her beautiful, sound soul rest in peace

Hayato frowned and Bianchi put her hand on his head.

G lay the flowers down on the grave of his friend.

Lavina was G's long-time friend; he's the one that helped her become a pianist. Her father had set her up with an arranged marriage with a Mafia boss that he owed money to.

The man already had Bianchi from a different wife that died in a shootout when their mansion was ambushed. However, to Bianchi, Lavina was more of a mother than her own birth mother ever was. She encouraged her to do what she pleased while her birth mother forced her to be groomed to be a marriage piece. Lavina was the one who encouraged her cooking, which led to the discovery of her natural Poison Cooking, and her road as an assassin.

Lavina taught Hayato all she knew about piano's until her and her husband's death. Hayato could easily play any piece you give to him because of Lavina's teachings. He only played for his family of course, though.

G frowned. He moved the dead leaves off of his friend's grave. Lavina's husband was a cocky bastard. No matter how much the family tried to hide it, he knew that he hit Lavina. She didn't deserve him. She deserved to be a professional piano player and live the way she pleased, not get married to a sleazebag like him.

But then again, G did not know a single man that was good enough for her.

Hayato walked up to her grave and wiped the grave clean as best as he could. "Hi mama, I'm happy to see you. I'm trying to be a good man. I'm going to be strong. Strong so I don't lose the people I love anymore. I-I promise…" Hayato cried, sniffling into his shirt sleeve. Tsuna walked up to Hayato and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hayato-nii, I'm not completely sure, but… somehow, I know that Hayato-nii's 'kaa-san is very happy with Hayato-nii." Tsuna told the young bomber. Hayato smiled at Tsuna and looked at Lavina's grave again.

"Mama… This is Juudai—Tsuna," Hayato corrected. "Over there is Bianchi-nee, Takeshi, Ryohei, Kyoya-nii, Mukuro-nii, and Chrome-nee. They're my family, and I promise that I will protect them all. I won't lose them." Hayato told his mom, cheeks shiny with recent tears but a refreshed smile on his face.

Bianchi stepped forward and took a deep breath. "Thank you, La—Mama. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't call you Mama when you were alive. We're all doing really well. G-san is taking care of us, Mama. I made you some cookies." Bianchi finished, setting down a batch of purple cookies. G gulped before inwardly sighing. It's the thought that counts, G supposed.

"Lavina, I'm going to take care of Hayato and Bianchi with all my might. I swear it—"

"Aww, ain't that just so sweet~" A voice cackled out. G immediately stood up and glared at the offending speaker.

"Oi, this is a private moment asshole, take your sorry, undersized pipe somewhere else!" Hayato growled out.

"Hehehe, so _rare_ to see so many of the tops of the Vongola in one place—there's no way I'm gonna pass up a chance like this!" the man growled out, pulling out a Box and ring. Giotto growled upon seeing the insignia on the Box.

"Funny, I didn't really think the Bruto Famiglia was looking for a fight with the Vongola. Didn't particularly strike me as the suicidal type…" Giotto with a look that could rival the fierce cold of his Zero Point Breakthrough: First Edition.

The man flinched but quickly recovered releasing a Cloud Machine Gun, the ammo practically infinite. The Vongola all stood up and unsheathed their weapons.

"I'll arrest you for disrupting a funeral." Alaude growled out, moving in for the kill. The man moved to fire his weapon but looked down to see his hands frozen. A head with brown hair and orange eyes looked up at him before giving a cold look.

"Ne, you know… This kind of ice doesn't naturally thaw… and there's no chance that the Bruto Famiglia could _ever _come up with flames strong enough to melt it… We'll melt it if we think you've learned your lesson…" Tsuna smiled, his HDWM, coupled with anger distorting his usual cute face into that of utter demonic characteristics.

Hayato smiled down at Lavina. "We haven't really changed that much, huh Mama? But isn't that what you love about us?"

The wind blew as if to say yes.


	11. Chapter 10: Hobby Day

I don't own, and sadly, never will

Hobby Day

Takeshi led his father outside happily, holding a bat and a baseball. "Hehe, it's a good thing that school was canceled because of that gas leak, huh?"

Asari nodded. "Yeah, it's been a while since we've been able to play with each other like this, right?"

Takeshi nodded. "Hahaha, let's play baseball!"

The boy passed his father the baseball cheerfully and smiled to level s that would have Ryohei screaming 'EXTREME SMILE!'.

Asari held the ball awkwardly. "So, I throw it to you and you hit it with that bat?"

"Yup!" Takeshi cheered out happily.

Asari smiled. "I don't really understand, but it sounds like fun!"

The ball was thrown with shocking accuracy from practice with throwing short swords and Takeshi hit the ball with such fierce skill and raw talent that it was frightening; the powerful swing an advantage to being a sword wielder.

Asari watched the ball as it flew a great distance past the woods next to Vongola Mansion. Asari smiled and laughed. "Haha, that was fun and refreshing, just like you said, Takeshi!"

"See?" Takeshi smiled, his father walking up to him and patting his head good-naturedly. "Let's go get that ball!"

Asari smiled. "Alright, and after, I can teach you a bit about the flute!"

Takeshi smiled. "Haha, sound's great Oyaji!"

About two hours later:

"Ah, do you see it yet, Takeshi?" Asari called out, looking for the ball. "Looking back, I suppose we should have just bought another ball; I mean it's not like the Vongola doesn't have the money for it…"

Takeshi nodded before yawning. "Oyaji~ I'm kinda sleepy now…"

Asari picked up Takeshi and moved him so he was sitting on his shoulders. Takeshi gripped Asari's head lightly as not to fall. "Hm, now that I think about it, I guess it is time for your nap, huh?"

Takeshi mumbled incoherently in response, sleepy shojo bubbles emerging from the boy.

Asari nodded and walked towards the edge of the woods with Takeshi on his back. "Ah, it looks like we went all the way past the woods. Maybe we should go back…"

"Stop!" a uniformed man shouted out. "Who are you and what are you doing here? This is military grounds!"

…_Vongola HQ is that close to the military?_ Asari wondered _But then again, _Alaude_ was a former detective that had good connections and _Daemon's _old man is a high up, after all._

"Oh really?" Asari asked. "Hahaha, I'm sorry, but I was just playing with my son see? I'm Asari, the Vongola's Rain Guardian."

The guard scoffed. "Do you know how many 'Vongola' come out through those woods every day?" The man made air quotes when saying 'Vongola'. "Do you know that you can be arrested for just standing on this land?"

Asari froze. "No, we really did just come looking for a baseball!"

"Let me get this straight," the guard said skeptically, "You came out of the surrounding woods into military territory where there's nothing but forest in a surrounding 100 meter radius, looking for a baseball?"

Asari nodded.

"And you expect me to believe you?"

Once again, Asari nodded.

"Do you take me for an idiot?" The guard asked.

Asari gave a half-nod before correcting himself and shaking his head. "No." Yes.

Asari gave a jolt. "Oh, I have my Vongola Ring!"

The guard watched as Asari stuck his hand out to the guard. "Really, _Asari_," the guard laughed. "Are all the Vongola Rings invisible?"

Asari looked down at his hand and nearly dry wretched. He left his ring in the mansion!

"Come with me. You're under arrest."

Asari sighed and walked behind the man. Takeshi stirred. "U-Uhn… Oyaji? What's goin' on?"

"Hahaha, Takeshi," Asari started. "Your Oyaji's getting arrested. You have to wait with the nice men until Uncle Giotto comes to bail me out."

Three Hours Later:

Takeshi blew into the flute and moved his fingers how Oyaji taught him. Asari smiled approvingly. "Good job Takeshi, you're a really fast learner!"

Takeshi smiled. "Hehe, Oyaji, is it normal when they arrest you to put you in these cages?"

Asari smiled. "Yeah, you learn to get used to it."

Giotto entered the cell. "Asari. What did you do? This is normally with Alaude or Daemon or even G, but never you. What the hell happened?"

"Hey!" G cried indignantly from behind the blonde.

Asari smiled. "Hahaha! Takeshi was teaching me how to play baseball!"

G facepalmed. "You are in a holding cell for baseball?"

"Yup, I guess we hit the ball to hard, right Takeshi? But don't worry, we'll tone it down next time, right?"

Takeshi nodded. "Yeah! Next time we'll take it a bit less intense!"

Both G and Giotto had to slap themselves at the Rain's cheerful faces.

"Hahaha, we had a lot of fun waiting for you two to come here too! Takeshi is almost as talented with the flute as he is with the sword! That's my boy!"

"And you were really good at throwing the baseball even though it was only your first time, Oyaji!"

"Thanks, Takeshi—"

Giotto threw the cell door close.

Asari sputtered through the bars at the Don who was currently talking to the guard with his flame activated. "Oi, you don't mind keeping these two in custody for a couple more hours right?"

Did the guard have a choice when asked by a Mafia Don with Hyper Dying Will Flames?

"Giotto!" Asari cried out. "Come on, let me and Takeshi out!"

"So can you?" G asked irritably, both him and Giotto ignoring Asari's cries. The guard blinked before nodding dumbly.

"That's good." Giotto said, walking away, G in tow.

"GIOTTO!" Asari cried out to no avail. The boss stopped at the door, turned and looked Asari in the eye.

"Next time, Asari," Giotto said, "Don't get so carried away with your hobbies."

Asari cried. "I won't Giotto! I won't!"

"Bye-bye, Uncle Giotto!" Takeshi called out, unaware of his father's panic.

"We'll come to pick them up later." G told the guard with a pat.

"GIOTTO!" Asari wailed.

Next time they play baseball, Asari vowed, it would be in the training room underground the Vongola HQ.

But for now, Asari would teach Takeshi how to play the flute while in a holding cell.

Oh, the life of a Vongola.


	12. Chapter 11: Spy Twins: Pineapple Style!

I hate the end of the year. Grad practice and assignments worth practically 10% of the final grade. Please shoot me now. Or at least until after I hit 200 reviews.

I don't own, but I'll keep an eye out to see if it goes on sale on eBay.

The Spy Twins: Pineapple Style!

"Kufufufu, you may have helped us in the battle in the Special Instruction Class, but tell me _why_ I should allow you to play with me and my precious Nagi, Kufufufu?" Mukuro asked, looking at the blonde and bespectacled boy as they walked over, with a ball and yoyo respectively.

"We just wanna play with her, byon!~" Ken whined sadly, clutching his ball. "We want to be friends in a place where we kinda don't fear for our lives byon!"

Chikusa nodded and played with his yoyo halfheartedly. Chrome tugged on Mukuro's shirt hopefully.

"Please Mukuro-nii, let me play with them…"

Mukuro sighed. "Nagi-chan, what happened to you when you were captured by the Estraneo?"

"…I was playing…"

"And who were you playing with?"

"…M.M-chan…" Chrome said sadly.

"And what did I tell you about her?"

"Not to play with her because she was mean." Chrome sighed. "But I know Ken and Chikusa, Mukuro-nii!"

Mukuro froze. "Oya, oya. It seems that our father is on another date with Elena~"

Chrome looked around and saw the two. "Papa really is playing with Lady Elena a lot, huh?"

"Kufufufu, Nagi."

"Hai, Mukuro-nii?"

"Let's go follow them again, just like last time! We'll be real Vongola spies!" Mukuro told his sister cheerfully. Chrome looked at Ken and Chikusa.

"Can they come?"

"Nagi—" Mukuro whined.

"W-Well, if we do a good job spying with you, can we play with you after, byon?" Ken asked desperately. Chikusa nodded furiously in agreement.

"For once, I agree with the dog. We'll prove ourselves capable of protecting our friends."

"O-Oi, who are you calling a dog, Kakipi!"

"Ah, Mukuro-nii, Ken, Chikusa, Papa and Elena are getting away!" Chrome pointed out quietly.

"Hey byon, if you two are illusionists, byon, why can't you guys just make us plants or invisible or something, byon?" Ken asked as the four of them hid behind a rose bush while Daemon and Elena were sitting on a park bench.

"Kufufufu, that's because as of now, our current skills can't even touch father's illusions. He'll see through our illusions easily, even though we're both B-class illusionists." Mukuro informed, plucking off a rose, tearing off the thorns and placing it on Chrome's pineapple hairstyle as she kept a vigil on the date intently.

Chrome turned around to see what touched her hairstyle and fell, shaking the rose bush. Daemon looked over at the bush.

"Oya, oya, what was that?" Daemon muttered. Chrome and Mukuro blanched. Ken pulled a pair of teeth out and put it in. He then proceeded to make a series of squeaks and such.

"Ken's raccoon channel." Chikusa whispered.

Daemon shrugged and turned back to Elena. "Nufufufu, just an animal, Elena."

Elena smiled. "Now how are Mukuro and Chrome doing in school?"

Daemon smiled. "They're doing better than I expected; a month and so far they haven't even been sent to the ER once!"

Mukuro smiled and patted Chrome's head.

"But are they making other friends?" Elena asked innocently. "It's normal for them to be close to others right?"

Mukuro froze and turned towards Ken and Chikusa. Did he consider these two that tried to take his little sister from him friends?

No.

Chrome smiled and pet both boys heads good-naturedly, unaware of the searing glare her twin gave at the two. Both blushed.

Mukuro swore every dirty swear he knew in every language he could think of.

And being the son of a Vongola Guardian, he knew _quite _a lot of those.

Chrome turned to sit more comfortably and winced when a thorn scratched her. Before Mukuro could move to protect his twin, Chikusa reached in his pocket for a bandage and Ken was wiping the blood away.

Mukuro's eyes narrowed. He may not like them, but they help protect Nagi…He might as well give them a chance.

Chrome nodded in silent thanks before turning once again towards her father.

Mukuro leaned towards the two boys.

"Hurt my sister and I'll kill you both." Mukuro hissed, his red eye glinting ominously.

Instead of showing signs of fear however, the two only shrugged.

"Well then I suppose we don't have anything to worry about. We won't hurt Chrome." Chikusa stated blatantly.

Chrome tugged on Mukuro's arm and he moved to hear his father's conversation.

"Nufufufu, you seem to care about Chrome and Mukuro a lot, Elena." Daemon noted. "I would like to ask you something. And I want you to answer honestly."

Elena nodded.

Chrome looked on with a wide eye. Why did the air seem so tense?

Mukuro looked on with narrowed eyes. What was his old man planning?

"Elena, I want to ask you," Daemon started, digging into his fancy coat and pulling out a box. "Will you marry—"

Daemon was interrupted when a hitman hit him over his melon head with a gun. "Oi Daemon! Where's your kids and their two friends!"

"RE-REBORN! I'm kind of in the middle of something serious; anytime other than this would be a good time to face me with this problem!" Daemon cried out, a look mixed with anger, sorrow, frustration, fear, and defeat. Why now?

Reborn glared at the melon head. "I will not have our reputation at the Mafia Preschool tainted because of your two pineapple twins, dammit Daemon!" Reborn spat out. "What the hell; they're barely six and they're already skipping!"

Daemon froze. "Wait…Skipping?"

"Yeah, we're looking for them and your girl's pets right now!" Reborn growls out. "Freaking hell, you might as well sign her up early for Aria's Seduction Classes, dammit!"

Daemon turned into dust when approached with the thought of signing his daughter up for Seduction Lessons at the young age of six.

Daemon quickly shook out of it however, when remembering what he had come to do. "Reborn! Be a kind soul to a man who just wishes to propose to the woman he loves!"

"You know sap stories don't buy me."

"100 euros if you talk with me about this at three instead."

Reborn nodded. "Deal. Break a leg, lover boy."

In the rose bushes, the four kids held their breath and waited until they could no longer see or hear the hitman. For extra precautions, Ken inserted his Boar Channel and made sure that the man was a safe distance away where even his superhuman hearing wouldn't hear the group of kids.

Daemon cleared his throat and turned towards Elena. "I'm sorry about that, Elena I completely understand if you don't forgive me for—"

"Yes."

"Eh?" Daemon blinked. "You mean you don't forgive me?"

"No, I mean I want that ring on this finger." Elena stated with a smile, pointing to her ring finger happily. Daemon fumbled with the ring and placed the jewelry on Elena's finger.

Daemon turned to the bush. "Mukuro, Chrome, it's safe for you and your friends to come out."

The four peeked out of the bush, looking quite comical in the process. Chrome jumped out first, dragging Mukuro and Chikusa, who had a grip on the back of Ken's shirt.

"How long did you know we were here, Papa?" Chrome asked, jumping into her father's arms. Daemon smiled.

"You're all very good Vongola spies. I didn't realize it until I saw Mukuro's hair from the bush when you all were scared of getting caught." Daemon stated. "Good job, pretending to be a raccoon. Who was that?"

Chrome pointed at Ken, who looked up at the man along with Chikusa. "Hey, you're the guy who saved us from Estraneo, byon!"

"Oya? You two were in that hellhole too?"

"Hai, they helped me during the experiments, Papa!" Chrome said cheerfully, hoping that Daemon would allow the two to be her friends.

Daemon smiled. "Nufufufu, you two helped my dear daughter? Then I suppose you're both good kids; feel free to come by Vongola HQ and play with Chrome and Mukuro anytime."

Ken and Chikusa, despite their differences, turned to each other and gave a fist bump.

Mukuro sulked.

Chrome turned to Elena. "Hi Elena, how are you?"

Elena smiled. "I'm doing well; but you don't need to be so formal nearby me anymore."

Chrome's head tilted slightly and Mukuro looked up. "Why not?"

Daemon smiled and hugged Chrome tightly. "Chrome, Mukuro, you two have a mommy now!"

Both twins smiled and Daemon froe upon remembering something.

"But first…" Daemon muttered. "We have to get all four of you in hiding. At least until tomorrow. I don't trust Reborn not to kill any of you…"

All four gulped and looked at each other with pale faces. Elena sighed.

"You're so melodramatic, Daemon." A voice said. Daemon turned to see Reborn and he fell from the bench, Chrome almost falling with him until Mukuro caught her.

"R-REBORN!"

"Chaos," Reborn greeted. "Anyway, why would I punish kids who just wanted to see their dad propose?"

Daemon glared. "You mean you interrupted my proposal for nothing!"

Reborn smirked. "Maybe."

Daemon left to sulk in the interchangeable Melon/Pineapple Corner of Sulking Shame, currently in Melon form.

Ken looked at Chrome. "Does this happen often, byon?"

"Pretty much." Both twins answered simultaneously.

Chikusa shrugged. "Just what you'd expect from the mafia. If your that high up, it's not like you can be _completely_ sane."

Chrome nodded. "Especially in the Vongola."


	13. Chapter 12: The Rise of the Committee!

I don't own, and sadly, never will. If I did, it would be a harem version of Junjou.

The Rise of the Disciplinary Committee!

When Kyoya was six, he heard of the groups in schools called the disciplinary committees from his father, who was telling him how he was once the leader of one.

"Hn." _Tell me more_.

"Hn." _Of course, Kyoya._

And all while using grunting and the slightest movements, Kyoya learned all there was to the disciplinary committees, thanks to the telepathic powers granted alongside aloofness.

The next day, he arrived at school earlier than usual and walked towards Reborn. "Oi Carnivore, I wish to form a disciplinary committee in the school."

Reborn looked down at Hibari. "Why would I let you?"

"I would be doing most of your job with no pay."

"Then go ahead." Reborn stated almost immediately. Hibari nodded and began to walk around to look for eligible prefects.

Kyoya bumped into a tall sixth grader almost immediately after. "Oi, watch where you're going Herbivore."

Tetsuya smiled and picked up Kyoya easily. "Heh, little kids shouldn't be walking the halls by themselves. Which class are you in? I'll help you back—"

Kyoya wasted no time in tonfaing the preteen in the neck.

Tetsuya flinched slightly, but stood straight a second after. "Yikes, what a strong kid! Whichever Family that has you is lucky to have such a strong member!"

Kyoya blinked. This was the first herbivore that took a hit from his tonfa and was still conscious. "Oi, herbivore. What's your name?"

"My name is Kusakabe Tetsuya." Tetsuya stated, putting Hibari down. "I suppose I should treat someone of this strength equally."

"Oi, join the Disciplinary Committee."

"Eh?" Tetsuya asked before smiling. "Sure. I would be happy to follow someone so strong."

"Hn." _And I'm glad someone so strong is following me._

Tetsuya smiled and followed his new little friend as he patrolled the halls. They soon came across two upperclassmen smoking on school property.

"Herbivores." Kyoya started, jumping out the window and landing in front of them. "Do you want to be bitten to death? Smoking on school grounds is prohibited."

The taller of the two looked up at Kyoya then looked at Tetsuya. "What, acting all tough just 'cause your big brother is next to you—"

Kyoya immediately knocked him out. "Consider yourself bitten to death on behalf of the Disciplinary Committee."

Kyoya turned to the other and knocked him out as well. Tetsuya looked at Kyoya. The boy really meant to make a legitimate Disciplinary Committee.

The news of the Disciplinary committee spread like wildfire. Students hurriedly handed in assignments, fixed their uniforms, and never littered. Teachers were praising Reborn on his approval on the creation of the Committee and treated the members extra special.

Kyoya saw his brother's and sister later that day after biting several rule breakers to death. "Ah, Kyoya-nii! We heard about your Disciplinary Committee from Reborn-sempai! Can we join?"

"Hahaha, sounds like fun, Kyoya-nii!"

"Well, Juudaime wants to join, so why not?"

"KYOYA! LET ME JOIN TO THE EXTREME!"

"Kyoya, can Mukuro-nii and I please join?"

"Kufufufu, Nagi-chan seems to like the idea."

And so, Kyoya got his family to join as well. Soon enough, even Enma, Basil and the two engineers wished to join. Kyoya decided another soon-to-be Mafia boss, Outside Advisor, and some brains would be a good addition and added them as well. Dino stopped Kyoya during lunch.

"Hey Kyoya!"

"Hn, what do you want Herbivore?"

"Nothing, I just heard that you made a Disciplinary Committee, and I'm proud of how well you're doing." Dino stated, patting Kyoya's head fondly. The boy snarled and Dino smiled.

"I'll bite you to death, Herbivore."

"Calm down Kyoya, save the biting for the delinquents." Dino said easily, standing up and leaving.

Only after Dino left did Kyoya realize that there was an extra cookie on his tray that he sure as hell didn't remember buying.

Reborn smiled as the Disciplinary committee walked back into Special Instruction after club activities. Each member was a good addition.

Tetsuya was the authority in the group. Who would take five/six year-olds seriously? He was the intimidation factor, mostly.

Tsuna, Basil, and Enma were used for one thing: their ukeness. They were put against first-time offenders who were asked nicely to '_please_ not do it again, with sugar and cherries on top, sempai'.

Hayato was fast, had good eyesight and was a mid-range weapon specialist, so he mostly stayed on the roof, looking to see if there were any delinquents to blow up.

Takeshi was a pretty friendly character, so while it was difficult to use him, Kyoya soon found out that almost all info on the rumor mill got to him easily and quickly. They used him to get information with a smile and relay it to Kyoya if there were any fights or extortions or such happening.

Ryohei was used to see if there was anybody strong enough to be part of the Disciplinary Committee. Kyoya's words to him were "If you think they are strong enough to beat you in a boxing match, tell them to join the Disciplinary Committee."

The pineapple twins were used mostly for patrolling. The delinquents usually had someone as a look out so if they saw someone coming, they would pack their stuff and split. However, two illusionists were hard to spot. They were able to catch delinquents who normally could not be caught if it was Kyoya or Tetsuya on patrol.

Spanner and Shouichi took care of the club itself. They handled budgets, complaints (there were plenty of those), and the club room. With some help from Gola Moska, the Disciplinary Committee took the Reception room from the Bodyguard Club (which was really just a club full of scamming bullies). Kyoya approved.

Kyoya was the boss. Head Prefect. The Honcho. Everybody answered to him and reported to him daily. If there was a serious problem, Kyoya would handle it on his own, biting the offender to death and protecting other students. Everybody might be let off with small things, but when it was Kyoya, they made sure everything was storybook-perfect for the prefect.

Three days after the committee came to light, Alaude returned to Vongola HQ after his mission in Russia concerning a certain mob boss that had to be put in his place. His spy friends had told him about what Kyoya was doing and he was quite pleased. He opened the door to his son's room in a dead hour of the night and sat on Kyoya's bed, patting his head with what might've been considered a smile.

"Hn." _I'm so proud of you, Kyoya._

In his sleep, Kyoya mumbled. "…Hn…" _…Hamburgers…_

Alaude smiled and placed a small kiss on Kyoya's head, making a note to himself, making sure that Kyoya got to eat his favorite food for breakfast tomorrow. When he got up to leave, he saw several idiots in his son's doorway looking at him with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?" Alaude hissed. Giotto held up his hands in panic.

"C-Calm down, Alaude—It's erm—"

"Hahaha, we just didn't know that Alaude was capable of kissing his son goodnight!"

"Idiot! Are you trying to kill us all? We should've left you in that prison longer!" G growled out.

Alaude spun his handcuffs around. "For interrupting a father-son moment, I'll arrest you."

"A-Alaude wait!" Giotto hissed. "You'll wake up the kids!"

Alaude thought about this for about a fraction of a second, dragged all his fellow Guardians into the forest near Vongola HQ, far from the hearing of the children and began to beat them all senseless.

Of course, this was a common occurrence in the Vongola.


	14. Chapter 13: Field Trip to Hell

…Hi *shot*

Yeah, yeah, where the hell have I been? Blame the writer's block. But thanks to my pm buddy, (ahemapersonkindofpersonahem), I'm back on track!

Field Trip to Hell

Giotto stared at the heinous paper sitting on his desk awaiting his signature.

And, no, for once, it was _not _the bill for damages caused on Alaude/Daemon's last mission.

God that was scary.

This paper was worse though. It just sat there, immune to Giotto trying to set it on fire with his eyes (he had already tried with his gloves to no avail) and _mocking him_.

Him. Vongola freaking Primo. Most eligible bachelor in the mafia. Great leader of the Vongola Famiglia, holder of one of the Trinisette. The _only _man that could control both Alaude and Daemon in the same room without losing a at least limb.

And he had to give his son away to hell for a day.

Giotto was not amused.

Meanwhile, Tsuna, innocent, _oblivious_ little tuna fish, just stood in front of his Papa before crawling into his lap with somewhat difficulty before managing to get up and look up at his Papa.

"Ne, Papa, what's wrong?" Tsuna asked. "Can I go?"

Giotto picked up the permission slip once more.

'_I, _, father/mother/ guardian, _, of agree to let my son/daughter/ward go on a field trip, sponsored by the Mafia Education Program, on a trip to the __Vendicare Penitentiary__ to learn __how the Vendice operate and why not to commit crimes__. The field trip is __7/20/20XX__ and cost __50 Euros__ for __Transportation & lunch.'_

Now, what **truly **bothered Giotto was the second page.

'I also accept and agree that while in the presence of the Vendice, children should bring a change of clothing and underwear and could quite possibly die or be incapacitated at the hands of the prisoners or Vendice themselves.'

…

Giotto stood up, taking Tsuna into his arms and walked towards the fireplace with the boy. He dropped the paper inside and looked to see what happened.

Nothing. Absolutely fucking _nothing_.

Giotto's eye twitched and he wondered, just _how_ was he being defeated by _paper_?

The door slammed open. Giotto didn't even bat an eyelash.

"You can't get rid of it either?"

"No. Your _beloved right hand man_ was wondering if your flames could—"

"G. You're a Storm. Your flame attribute is freaking _disintegration_. I'm a Sky. Mine is _harmony._ If _you _couldn't burn it, do you think_ I_ could?" Giotto deadpanned.

G glared at the permission slip in his hand with pure unadulterated hatred.

Asari nervously walked in. "Hahaha…Takeshi and I will be at the vet. Be back by dinner—"

"Wait what?" The two said. Asari smiled sheepishly.

"Ah, well… I tried to cut the permission slip into oblivion, but that didn't work—"

"What…" G muttered.

"Yeah, one of my short swords got a little messed up after that—that paper was _really_ tough!" Asari sighed. "I wanted to see if Jirou could rip through it and one of his teeth fell out."

"Did he rip it?" Giotto asked.

"Not a scratch."

"Shitfuck." G cursed.

Knuckles, Alaude, and Daemon walked in.

"Maximum Break."

"Nuclear weaponry."

"Illusionary pits of hell."

They all held up untouched papers. The answer was obvious.

They had failed. Badly.

Giotto turned, sighed, and was about to resign to faith and sign the damned paper, when he turned to Alaude. "Nuclear weaponry? Seriously?"

The man shrugged and Giotto dug a hand through his hair in frustration.

"How much?"

"About the Mist Arcobaleno's entire savings." Alaude said.

Giotto's eyes widened and looked at Alaude to see if this was, in fact, the first time Alaude was pulling his leg.

Nope.

Giotto cried. "If you guys need me, I'll be in the bathroom slitting my wrists…"

Tsuna pouted and tugged his father's cape. "Papa! That's not good, Tsuna-chan will be sad if you do!"

Giotto looked down and saw an angry pout with determination in his son's eyes. He knelt down and hugged his son.

"Tsuna, promise me that you'll come back home alive…" Giotto said, holding his son tight. "I don't want to lose my son…"

Tsuna blinked, not knowing what his Papa was saying or not registering it, all while smiling cutely.

Daemon turned to look at Chrome and Mukuro who was behind them. "Go tell Mommy Elena that you love her, alright?"

"Yes father."

"Kufufufu, fine."

"Now don't forget that we both love you two so you should both come back, alright?" Daemon said, adding 'preferably not in a body bag' in the back of his mind.

Alaude looked over at Kyoya.

"Hn." _Be careful._

"Hn." _I will._

"Hn." _You better, or else I'll arrest you to death._

"Hn." _I always wanted a spar, old man. And _I'll _bite _you_ to death._

"Hn." _Come back out alive and you'll get one. I love you Kyoya._

Knuckle fist-bumped Ryohei. "SON! STAY ALIVE TO THE MAXIMUM!"

"TO THE EXTREME!" Ryohei cried out.

Asari pet his son's hair. "Hahaha, you're a good boy, Takeshi. I'm sure you'll behave on the trip."

"Hahaha, of course, Oyagi!"

G grabbed Hayato on the shoulder, startling the boy. "Hayato. Protect yourself, because you can't help anyone else if you're dead."

"I already know that, senile old man!"

"Damn brat! I'm trying to have a touching moment here, don't ruin it!"

"You already did!"

"Aw, shut up!" G sighed. "Even the melon bastard got a nice moment with Chrome and Mukuro; at least let me have _one_ moment of father-son emotional stuff!"

Asari laughed. "You know, Giotto, I'm sure if Hayato doesn't make it, G will end up yelling at him in the coffin to get up and stop wasting everyone's time with being dead at all."

G glared and pulled his bow out from thin air and Giotto swore that with the intense glare the man held, he could've burned that permission slip.

The Next Day:

Giotto sighed, having just dropped his son off at school with his Guardians. He saw Cozart and walked over happily.

"Hey Cozart, did you find a way to burn that permission slip?" Giotto joked.

The redhead blinked. "Wait, you mean you couldn't?"

Giotto swore he heard a mountain split in half just then. "What?"

Cozart sighed. "Giotto… that paper was Dying Will resistant and made of steel fibers and really, _really _freaking strong, but it was still _paper_. You could've just put it in water and mash it apart."

Giotto felt himself and the rest of the Guardian's soul fly up to the sky (yes, even Alaude and Daemon) and his friend sighed before using his gravity to bring to souls back to their still husks.

"…I just signed Tsuna's death certificate…" Giotto mumbled before pressing the back of his hand to his head. "Huh, were you always this fuzzy…"

Giotto fainted on the spot.

Meanwhile, Tsuna was talking happily about the hellhole he was about to enter tomorrow.

Ignorance is bliss.

In a few days time, the students of the Special Instruction Class have all been seated and were now on their way to Vendicare Prison. Tsuna giggled next to Hayato and Takeshi. "I hope this field trip is fun!"

"Hahaha, yeah, but Oyagi looked kind of pale." Takeshi said. Hayato scoffed.

"Well duh. We're going to _Vendice_. They're probably jealous."

"Ne, Hayato-nii, does that mean that if we get them souvenirs, they'll feel better?"

"M-Maybe Juudaime!" Hayato stuttered. Tsuna smiled and made a fist.

"Un, then Tsu-chan's going to bring something back and make Papa happy!" Tsuna said with cute little sparkles around him.

Several nearby teens got a mysterious case of nosebleeds.

Hayato's eyes narrowed. "Why do they always do that with the Juudaime around?"

"Hahaha, they also do that with Enma and Basil sometimes too, I think." Takeshi said. He put a finger to his chin, in 'thinking mode', "Ano, I wonder what would happen if all three of them sat together…"

The mental image of the three cute little shotas, all sitting together and just plain being the adorable little kids they were, made the bleeding teens into fountains of blood.

Reborn looked over all of them and sighed. Verde, beside him chuckled.

"Still happy you signed up to be their teacher?"

"Shut up, you damned scientist." Reborn sighed. "You don't have to clean up the blood."

Reborn stood up and clicked the safety off his gun. "Now no talking the entire ride or else you'll be chewing on a bullet, understand?"

Silence.

Reborn smirked an evil, sadistic (sexy) smirk. "Chaos. Perfect."

Once the kids were at the prison, they looked in awe. It truly didn't look like a prison, it was so clean and nice. Reborn saw this and smirked.

Time to break their amazement.

Reborn kicked the door open and sauntered in, amongst the mafia criminals and barked at the children "Hurry up!"

The kids followed and stopped short once walking in.

The glares of criminals was what stopped them dead on the spot. Tsuna "HIIIEEEE"ed and hid behind Takeshi, who laughed.

"Hahaha, guys, I'm scared." Takeshi shivered.

His brothers and sister looked at him with wide eyes.

Takeshi, their oblivious little Rain, could sense the killing intent of these men. That meant they should run.

Like, now.

The kids took one step back. Then another. Then they proceeded to turn and run away like bats out of hell.

Verde stood at the door, behind the group and grabbed Tsuna in one arm and Chrome in the other.

That stopped the rest from running anywhere and Verde pushed Tsuna and Chrome to the front where Reborn smirked at them.

"Nice try, Dame-Tsuna. Now come on, let's go see the nice Vendice and their lower levels, alright?"

Reborn said it so kindly and sweet, Tsuna swore he was the guide to hell.

Tsuna and Chrome clutched each other and their brothers followed them and huddled around each other in fear. Kyoya's hand drifted to his tonfas and he squeezed the handle comfortingly.

Tsuna shivered when seeing the men around him. He looked up to ask Reborn why they were here and met a bandaged face.

He screamed. Like a little girl.

"HIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!" Tsuna shrieked. He jumped and hugged the closest sibling, which was Ryohei. "HIIIIEEEE! HIIIIIIIIEEEEEE! HIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"

The man looked over at Reborn. "This is the Vongola?"

Reborn nodded. "Sad isn't it?"

The man looked over at Tsuna. "Hn, Tsunayoshi, eh…?"

"Hey!" Ryohei barked at the man. "You made Tsuna cry and you scared him, say sorry to the extreme!"

The man looked over at Tsuna. Normally, he would've ignored the request.

But the child was so _tiny_. So tiny and weak and pathetic and fluffy yet it made him want to apologize instead of belittle Tsuna. He knelt down and ruffled the boy's fluffy hair.

"I'm sorry, Tsunayoshi. I am Bermuda von Veckenschtein" The man said. Tsuna blinked at the man and smiled.

"'S'okay!" Tsuna said.

A man walked towards the group and looked at Tsuna. "Vongola…Die!" The man pulled out a knife and leapt at Tsuna. The boy watched as the Vendice used his chains to pull the man tightly.

"A week down at the fifth level." The man said, passing him to another Vendice. "Now while we escort him, let's continue."

In the next five minutes, Tsuna has been targeted 3 times, threatened 7 times, and hit on twice. All times, either his siblings or Vendice intervened. Bermuda turned to Reborn.

"This kind of thing happens often?"

"More than you know, but instead of criminals, it's mostly hormonal teens."

"Kufufufu, Bermuda." Mukuro called out, "Another one of your prisoners attempted to harm my little tuna fish."

Mukuro held said prisoner with a trident and flung him at Bermuda, who caught him via chains.

Bermuda sighed. "Oy vey… This is the worst class by far."

"What about the one where you guys had to hold the class because you thought Byakuran and Ghost were related?" Reborn asked.

"That was a mistake."

"Right." Reborn said. He sighed and shot another guy trying to kidnap, maim, or kill Tsuna. "That's number fourteen."

Bermuda gave up. He just freaking gave up. "Let's just bring them to the underground floors where all the prisoners are in containers."

The kids all looked at the men in their containers in awe. "They look like UMAs…" Hayato muttered. Tsuna wasn't looking where he was going and tripped over a wire, falling on a tube and cracking it. Bermuda jolted.

"Tsunayoshi! That's—"

Bermuda was interrupted as a man with long black hair stepped out, dripping the encasement liquid (I have no idea what to call that stuff).

Reborn looked at Bermuda. "Isn't that the former boss of the Estraneo?"

"Yeah."

"And weren't his favorite victims kids around their age?"

"Yeah."

Reborn sighed. "Lovely."

It took the next hour to calm the kids down, knockout said man, find him a new strait jacket, fix the container he was in, put new casement inside and stuff the man inside.

However, Tsuna still had somehow managed to receive several scratches from said man. However, the man was also lucky he was alive as Chrome and Mukuro and whoever else on the field trip who've been to Estraneo have ganged up on the man. Afterwards, Mukuro, Ken, Chikusa, and even Chrome had satisfied, and somewhat sadistic smiles on their faces.

Bermuda sighed. He had promised Luche that none of her students would get hurt if he could help it. And he was supposed to call her even if they had so much as a scraped knee.

Bermuda had the feeling this would not turn out pretty.

Two hours later, running from an enraged Sky Arcobaleno and Vongola Boss, Bermuda knew he should never have agreed to this.

Luche glared at the man before her, who was currently nursing his wounds and glaring at her. "I agreed to allow the kids to come because I thought, you, the Vendice could protect _preschoolers_, but apparently I was wrong." Luche sighed.

"Well you never told me that one of my prisoners would get beaten to a near-death state." Bermuda retaliated.

Giotto sighed as the two Arcobaleno got into a fight and picked Tsuna up and looked over his niece and nephews. "Alright, let's just go home now…"

"Ne, Papa, is it ok to let Mr. Bermuda and Auntie Luche fight like that?" Tsuna asked as the two got into an epic war.

Giotto only pat his son on the head. "Tsuna. They are Arcobaleno. One of the 'Seven' Strongest. I will teach you a lesson now: never interrupt a fight between them, because they label that as 'getting in their way', and they will maim you. It's best to just walk away and pretend you don't know anything."

Tsuna only nodded, hearing the shouts, bones being broken, and chains being clanged together. Tsuna giggled. "But it was a nice field trip, I guess!"

Giotto smiled. "Better than the one I had, I'm sure."

Omake:

At the peak of their fight, Reborn walked in between them and put a hand on his wife's shoulder. "L-Luche, come on, I don't want the kid to get hurt—"

Luche glared at him and he died a little, he swore to freaking god.

"Reborn-_kun_. Out of the way, **now.**" Luche growled out.

The man continued to attempt to soothe his wife, sweating buckets all the while.

He soon lay in a steaming pile.

Mammon's lips twitched and he held an arm out towards Fon. "Ha. Pay up."

Fon grudgingly handed over 75 Euros. He frowned. "I was going to get I-Pin-chan a new martial arts robe."

Mammon sighed. "You should've learned not to make a bet with me."

Fon sighed and watched as Reborn shot at Bermuda to 'not be an idiot' and 'watch out for my fucking baby, you asscrack of a warden'.


End file.
